Freddy Got Fingered Quotes
An unemployed cartoonist moves back in with his parents and younger brother Freddy. When his parents demand he leave, he begins to spread rumors that his father is sexually abusing Freddy.
Sandwich Customer: This cheese sandwich.
Gord Brody: What?
Sandwich Customer: It doesn't have enough cheese in it.
Gord Brody: Well... we can't have that, 'cause, you know, a cheese sandwich with no cheese, it's just... two pieces of bread, and you know what? I could LOSE MY JOB. I could lose ALL THIS.
[starts cramming all the cheese slices on the counter into the sandwich]
Gord Brody: So you can... have... all... the cheese... you want.
[throws the stack of cheese slices and bread at the customer]
Sandwich Customer: What the hell do you expect me to do with this?
Gord Brody: Well, I don't know. You could... SHOVE IT UP YOUR BUM-BUM.
[customer walks out disgusted]
Gord Brody: Yooou... can... put... the... cheeese... in... your... bum...
Gord Brody: What?
Sandwich Customer: It doesn't have enough cheese in it.
Gord Brody: Well... we can't have that, 'cause, you know, a cheese sandwich with no cheese, it's just... two pieces of bread, and you know what? I could LOSE MY JOB. I could lose ALL THIS.
[starts cramming all the cheese slices on the counter into the sandwich]
Gord Brody: So you can... have... all... the cheese... you want.
[throws the stack of cheese slices and bread at the customer]
Sandwich Customer: What the hell do you expect me to do with this?
Gord Brody: Well, I don't know. You could... SHOVE IT UP YOUR BUM-BUM.
[customer walks out disgusted]
Gord Brody: Yooou... can... put... the... cheeese... in... your... bum...
Julie Brody: Gordie, sit down. We're having roast beef.
Gord Brody: Why do you guys always have roast beef?
Jim: Boo-hoo. Little Lord Fauntleroy's tummy hurts because there's too much roast beef in it.
Gord Brody: It's just boring.
[Opens bag, pulls out a chicken sandwich]
Gord Brody: I'm eating a chicken sandwich.
Jim: No, you're not!
Gord Brody: This is crazy. I'm a 28-year-old man, I should be able to eat a chicken sandwich if I want.
Jim: He's 28 years old and he can eat a chicken sandwich. Very Impressive. Mike Fitzgibbon's son is a nuclear physicist, and my son can eat a chicken!
[Grabs chicken sandwich, throws it to the dogs]
Julie Brody: Jim, no!
Jim: You can either eat that goddamn roast beef, or you can go to bed.
[Gord leaves the room]
Gord Brody: Why do you guys always have roast beef?
Jim: Boo-hoo. Little Lord Fauntleroy's tummy hurts because there's too much roast beef in it.
Gord Brody: It's just boring.
[Opens bag, pulls out a chicken sandwich]
Gord Brody: I'm eating a chicken sandwich.
Jim: No, you're not!
Gord Brody: This is crazy. I'm a 28-year-old man, I should be able to eat a chicken sandwich if I want.
Jim: He's 28 years old and he can eat a chicken sandwich. Very Impressive. Mike Fitzgibbon's son is a nuclear physicist, and my son can eat a chicken!
[Grabs chicken sandwich, throws it to the dogs]
Julie Brody: Jim, no!
Jim: You can either eat that goddamn roast beef, or you can go to bed.
[Gord leaves the room]
Jim: Hey, Gord, the water cold enough for ya?
[Turns the water temp level down, then breaks into the bathroom, then flushes the toilet]
Jim: Don't tell me this boy's so stupid he doesn't know the difference between hot and cold.
[opens shower to find Gord with a soap on a rope in Scuba Gear]
Jim: Hey, what are ya doing in my scuba gear?
Gord: Look, I found a treasure.
Jim: That's a soap on a rope!
Gord: SHhhhhhhhhh, I'm pretending it's a treasure.
[Turns the water temp level down, then breaks into the bathroom, then flushes the toilet]
Jim: Don't tell me this boy's so stupid he doesn't know the difference between hot and cold.
[opens shower to find Gord with a soap on a rope in Scuba Gear]
Jim: Hey, what are ya doing in my scuba gear?
Gord: Look, I found a treasure.
Jim: That's a soap on a rope!
Gord: SHhhhhhhhhh, I'm pretending it's a treasure.
Darren: [Gord is working on his skate ramp in the middle of the night, hammering nails loudly] Gord, don't hammer them so loud! Jeez, it's late, you're gonna wake your parents up.
Gord: You're right, I should probably use the electric nail gun.
Darren: Well, yeah.
Jim: [Gord uses the nail gun, making even more loud noise. Jim wakes up] Oh, boys, will you faggots stop making so fucking much noise? We're trying to sleep!
Jim: [Gord contimues to use the nail gun] Goddammit!
[shouts]
Jim: Stop the fucking hammering!
Mr. Malloy: Hey, I got a kid sleeping over here!
Andy Malloy: Hey, Gord, can I play on your ramp tomorrow?
Gord: Sure, Andy, anytime!
Jim: [shouts at the top of his lungs, and goes back inside the house]
Darren: Does your dad have, like, bowel problems?
Gord: You're right, I should probably use the electric nail gun.
Darren: Well, yeah.
Jim: [Gord uses the nail gun, making even more loud noise. Jim wakes up] Oh, boys, will you faggots stop making so fucking much noise? We're trying to sleep!
Jim: [Gord contimues to use the nail gun] Goddammit!
[shouts]
Jim: Stop the fucking hammering!
Mr. Malloy: Hey, I got a kid sleeping over here!
Andy Malloy: Hey, Gord, can I play on your ramp tomorrow?
Gord: Sure, Andy, anytime!
Jim: [shouts at the top of his lungs, and goes back inside the house]
Darren: Does your dad have, like, bowel problems?
Gord Brody: This is "Little Timmy". He gets us food and stuff. Right, little timmy?
Jim: What the fuck is going on Gord? Why aren't you at your new job?
Gord Brody: What are you talking about Timmy?
Jim: Gord... Jesus. There ain't no big computer job... is there? You're just gallavantin' around in my suit pretending to be some kind of mover 'n shaker aren't you?
Jim: What the fuck is going on Gord? Why aren't you at your new job?
Gord Brody: What are you talking about Timmy?
Jim: Gord... Jesus. There ain't no big computer job... is there? You're just gallavantin' around in my suit pretending to be some kind of mover 'n shaker aren't you?
Gord: Ahhh... Freddy. Freddy.
Freddy Brody: Is that um...
Jim: Thats your big brother. He couldn't handle the complexities of making a cheese sandwich so now he's back here at home with us... jeez, is that idiot still in the shower? Shit. How much water is he gonna use?
Freddy Brody: How much is he gonna use? All of it? Save some for the fish or something. Right poP? Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.
Freddy Brody: Is that um...
Jim: Thats your big brother. He couldn't handle the complexities of making a cheese sandwich so now he's back here at home with us... jeez, is that idiot still in the shower? Shit. How much water is he gonna use?
Freddy Brody: How much is he gonna use? All of it? Save some for the fish or something. Right poP? Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.
Jim: [after Darren breaks his leg skateboarding in the middle of night, screaming at the top of his lungs] You little shit, you think that's funny? I gotta go to work tommorrow, get the hell of my property!
Gord Brody: [Jim throws the skateboard on Darren's broken leg] Dad, what the fuck, he hurt his leg!
Jim: Why's everybody screaming like a banshee?
[notices Darren's exposed bone on his leg]
Jim: Jesus Christ.
[to Gord]
Jim: Well, get him a job! I mean, get him an ambulance, you get a job!
[Gord licks Darren's bone, Jim slaps Gord]
Jim: Stop that, what the hell do you think you're doing?
Gord Brody: [Jim throws the skateboard on Darren's broken leg] Dad, what the fuck, he hurt his leg!
Jim: Why's everybody screaming like a banshee?
[notices Darren's exposed bone on his leg]
Jim: Jesus Christ.
[to Gord]
Jim: Well, get him a job! I mean, get him an ambulance, you get a job!
[Gord licks Darren's bone, Jim slaps Gord]
Jim: Stop that, what the hell do you think you're doing?
