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At the end of the century, Satan visits New York in search of a bride. It's up to an ex-cop who now runs an elite security outfit to stop him.
Satan: How do you expect to defeat me when you are but a man, and I am forever?
The Man: Just tell me what you want. Jericho Cane: I'll tell you what I want. I want you to go to Hell. The Man: Well, you see, the problem is... [grabs Jericho and lifts him] The Man: ... sometimes Hell comes to YOU!
The Man: Something good happens, "It's His will." Something bad happens, "He moves in mysterious ways."
Chicago: You'd be amazed what you'll agree to when you're on fire.
The Man: [Satan bumps into a skateboarder who is wearing a "Satan Rules" shirt] Hey kid, nice shirt. Skateboarder: [Looks Satan up and down] Fuck you man. [Skates into the road] The Man: [Whispers] Hey Kid. [the skateboarder looks around and gets hit by a bus] The Man: ...Nice shirt.
Jericho Cane: [somewhat surprised] You're bleeding! Chicago: Of course I'm bleeding! You fucking shot me!
Father Kovak: We can't prevent evil by doing evil!
[after sniffing Jericho] Satan's Blind Gatekeeper: You have much hatred and vengeance in your heart... you may pass.
Cardinal: We're not afraid to die for our cause. Jericho Cane: Good, because I'm not afraid to kill you!
Chicago: You know, sometimes you border on competent. Jericho Cane: I know, it's scary isn't it?
Father Kovak: Satan's greatest trick was convincing the world he doesn't exist.
Chicago: Is this considered interfering with a police investigation? Jericho Cane: Hey... we're private citizens having a conversation with another citizen. I mean, I don't think they found a way to outlaw that... at least not yet.
Father Kovak: You think you've seen everything? There's a whole world you've never dreamed of. Thomas saw it, and it destroyed him. Jericho Cane: I've seen a lot, but nothing would ever make me cut out my tongue. Father Kovak: Wait a few days.
The Man: Now you're making me angry. You don't want to see me angry. Jericho Cane: Oh, you think you're bad, huh? You're a fucking choir boy compared to me! A CHOIR BOY! The Man: You're in touch with your anger. I admire that. Well, I don't know about you, but I'm going to have a drink.
Father Kovak: Do you believe in God? Jericho Cane: Maybe once, not anymore. Father Kovak: What happened? Jericho Cane: We had a difference of opinion. I thought my wife and daughter should live. He felt otherwise.
Jericho Cane: They're not real. The Man: Would that matter? Jericho Cane: Oh, yes. The Man: I think you need a reminder of how painful reality can be.
Chicago: I didn't realize you knew where the public library was, let alone had a library card.
Chicago: Why would someone cutout their own tongue? Jericho Cane: To keep from talking!
The Man: [to police guard] The scent of the young boys you seduce still clings to you. Do not forget who it is you serve.
[about God] The Man: Let me tell you something about Him. He is the biggest underachiever of all time. He just has a good publicist, that's all.
Jericho Cane: Who the fuck are you? The Man: Oh, I think you know who I am. You just don't want to believe it.
Jericho Cane: They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
Chicago: What makes you think you're going upstairs when this is all over? After the life you've led?
[Chicago and Jericho find a pentagram traced in red] Chicago: I don't think this is paint.
Christine York: I've seen him in my dreams. They're nightmares, really. In the dreams, he takes me, and makes love to me.
Jericho Cane: Take it easy... we're the good guys.
The Man: [to cardinal] For a thousand years you've waited for my return. Behold, you have failed. And with your dying breath, you will bear witness to the End of Days.
Jericho Cane: Sky Two, get the fuck down here, now!
The Man: Where was God? He could have stopped it. Instead he fucked you and made you feel guilty. Me, I don't do guilt.
The Man: [speaking to Christine] You think I came here to hurt you? I didn't come here to hurt you. I came here to love you. Give yourself to me.
Jericho Cane: Fuck... you! [throws Satan out of a few-stories-high window]
Jericho Cane: Between your faith and my Glock nine millimeter, I'll take the Glock.
Father Kovak: He was doing God's work. Jericho Cane: So God ordered a hit on an investment banker?
Jericho Cane: Easy on the hardware.
Chicago: Well, it's official: I'm never sleeping again. Ever.