Eagle vs Shark Quotes
Eagle vs Shark is the tale of two socially awkward misfits and the strange ways they try to find love; through revenge on high-school bullies, burgers, and video games.
Jonah: Take me away from here.
Lily: Where?
Jonah: Anywhere. Help me escape.
Lily: Okay. Where should we go?
Jonah: Where do you want to go?
Lily: Home, I want to go home.
Jonah: Ah, home's horrible. You must want to go somewhere else.
Lily: Mmm, dunno. Australia?
Jonah: Nah, not there. My ex-wife lives there.
Lily: What, is she alive?
Jonah: Who cares about her, she's a lesbian.
Lily: Where?
Jonah: Anywhere. Help me escape.
Lily: Okay. Where should we go?
Jonah: Where do you want to go?
Lily: Home, I want to go home.
Jonah: Ah, home's horrible. You must want to go somewhere else.
Lily: Mmm, dunno. Australia?
Jonah: Nah, not there. My ex-wife lives there.
Lily: What, is she alive?
Jonah: Who cares about her, she's a lesbian.
Lily: Do you want the big fries?
Jarrod: No.
Lily: It's free. I'll give them to you. The big size. Free. You'll save a dollar fifty. Free.
Jarrod: Um, ok.
Lily: Do you want cheese on your burger?
Jarrod: No, thanks.
Lily: It's free, too. I'll give it to you. You'll save sixty cents.
Jarrod: No, thanks.
Lily: Why? It's free cheese.
Jarrod: Can't eat cheese.
Lily: Oh, ok. No cheese.
Jarrod: No.
Lily: It's free. I'll give them to you. The big size. Free. You'll save a dollar fifty. Free.
Jarrod: Um, ok.
Lily: Do you want cheese on your burger?
Jarrod: No, thanks.
Lily: It's free, too. I'll give it to you. You'll save sixty cents.
Jarrod: No, thanks.
Lily: Why? It's free cheese.
Jarrod: Can't eat cheese.
Lily: Oh, ok. No cheese.
[Jarrod's family and Lily are all eating dinner together. Jarrod clumsily clinks his fork on his glass to get everybody's attention]
Jarrod: [stands up] Well, I suppose I should say a few words...
Nancy: [interrupting] Why?
Jarrod: [shoots Nancy a look before continuing] Now we're all here, I'd just like to say that I'm really happy that we're all together under the same roof. It's always great to come home. And I'd also like to say that this Saturday I will be having a scheduled fight with Eric Elisi, the Samoan.
Nancy: Oh, yeah. He used to beat you up.
Mason: And me.
Jarrod: [points at Mason] Yeah, and him. He was the toughest guy at our school. He used to pick on quite a few people, actually. Anyway, you're all invited to attend, it'd be great to see you there. Thank you.
[sits]
Zane: Why are you fighting him, Uncle?
Jarrod: [stands again] Well Zane, basically, I'm gonna restore honour to the family name. To your family name.
[sits]
Zane: My family name's Davis. Eh, Dad?
Doug Davis: Yep. Dangerous Davis, back in the day.
Nancy: Yeah, I'm a Davis too.
Jarrod: [exasperated] Yeah well it doesn't matter, does it? We're family. That's what matters.
Jarrod: [stands up] Well, I suppose I should say a few words...
Nancy: [interrupting] Why?
Jarrod: [shoots Nancy a look before continuing] Now we're all here, I'd just like to say that I'm really happy that we're all together under the same roof. It's always great to come home. And I'd also like to say that this Saturday I will be having a scheduled fight with Eric Elisi, the Samoan.
Nancy: Oh, yeah. He used to beat you up.
Mason: And me.
Jarrod: [points at Mason] Yeah, and him. He was the toughest guy at our school. He used to pick on quite a few people, actually. Anyway, you're all invited to attend, it'd be great to see you there. Thank you.
[sits]
Zane: Why are you fighting him, Uncle?
Jarrod: [stands again] Well Zane, basically, I'm gonna restore honour to the family name. To your family name.
[sits]
Zane: My family name's Davis. Eh, Dad?
Doug Davis: Yep. Dangerous Davis, back in the day.
Nancy: Yeah, I'm a Davis too.
Jarrod: [exasperated] Yeah well it doesn't matter, does it? We're family. That's what matters.
