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A group of thieves break into a chamber expecting to find paintings, but instead they release the count himself, who travels to New Orleans to find his nemesis' daughter, Mary Van Helsing.
Marcus: [Simon produces a cross] Sorry sport. I'm an atheist. Simon Sheppard: [a dagger pops out of the cross' base] God loves you anyway.
Simon Sheppard: NEVER... ever FUCK with an antiques dealer!
Dracula: I don't drink... coffee.
[Simon brandishes a Bible before the advancing Dracula] Dracula: Propaganda.
Simon Sheppard: What just happened in there? Abraham Van Helsing: I told you to kill her! They can be killed by silver, by sunlight or by stakes. You must pierce their heart or behead them. They are nosferatu, vampires. Simon Sheppard: And you knew this? And-and-and you're all right with this? Abraham Van Helsing: I had them destroyed, eradicated. All but one: my secret in the abbey. He is what they stole. Simon Sheppard: Who? Abraham Van Helsing: Dracula. Dracula: not myth, nor ravings of a mad Irish novelist, oh no. He's real, I assure you. Simon Sheppard: This is the fucking Twilight Zone!
Dracula: Everything I am is yours. Simon Sheppard: [trying to find her] Mary! Mary! Dracula: And all you are is mine.
Mary: [about Jesus Christ] He still loves you. Dracula: Does he? Just as he still loves you? Then go back to him and see if he'll still have you!
Dracula: Dignity, doctor.
Dracula: You cannot imagine what I've had to endure. I have borne the very wrath of God, chosen to suffer like no man before.
Dracula: You think you can teach me about betrayal? Didn't your father ever tell you, Mary? I can't die. He won't have me. Mary: Did you ever ask? Dracula: For what? Forgiveness?
Abraham Van Helsing: You-you can't have her... ever! Dracula: Can't I? Abraham Van Helsing: If you harm my daughter, I swear to the Lord Christ... Dracula: Shh! He doesn't care. In that you can trust. You stole life from my blood and past it to another. She's my Mary now. Abraham Van Helsing: No. Never! You want revenge? Take it! Right here, right now! Dracula: You know not the depths of my vengeance.
Mary: [seeing Dracula outside of her bedroom] Wake up... wake up... it's the dream... you know it's the dream. Wake up!
Dracula: Let me show you what I have shown no other.
Dracula: You haven't been feeding her.
Simon Sheppard: [Translating Slavic text on a crossbow] "All fear he who walks beneath the crown of Eternal Night." Abraham Van Helsing: No, no, no, no, it's not crown, it's halo; beneath the Halo of Eternal Night Simon Sheppard: Oh, well, you see why the design never survived. And look how heavy it is compared to what they were using in England at the time. Abraham Van Helsing: [talking about the crossbow in his hands] Ah, while the English made them for firing arrow shafts of wood, this was made for firing metal... silver.
Dracula: Blood has always been the coin of our realm.
Mary: [confessing to her pastor] I've had these dreams my whole life. Trapped in darkness with this man. I used to think they were just... nightmares.
Dracula: Mary, you're afraid. Don't be.
Dracula: [to Mary] It was my last sunset on this earth that made me who I am.
Dracula: We're all so much more complicated than our names.
Solina: You don't build this kind of security without a gold mine to hide.
Dracula: You made the world in your image. Now I make it in mine.
Dracula: [to the neon cross] You knew all this would come to pass.
J.T.: [very afraid] Don't kill me. Dracula: There are worst things than death.
Solina: Does English charm work on English women? Simon Sheppard: Why not, Solina? One reason. Solina: I don't date men that I work with.
Valerie Sharp: I don't want to die. Dracula: Then you never will.
[Solina, a vampire, throws herself on Simon, but freezes when he holds a set of garden shears to her neck] Solina: [seductive] Simon... Simon Sheppard: Better make it good. Solina: You and I, we could... Simon Sheppard: [cuts her head off] No!
Marcus: Better than money!
Detective Gautreaux: Solina, Dr. Seward here tells me you believe yourself to be a vampire. Now how does one become a vampire, Solina? Solina: No, how does one become... a lover? Detective Gautreaux: Well, I-I don't know. Solina: [Groans] One is chosen. Detective Gautreaux: You see that? Dr. Seward: See what? Solina: [sighs; Sultry voice] Would you like to be chosen, Mr. Detective? Are you waiting for a woman to choose you as a lover? Detective Gautreaux: You getting this on tape? Solina: [Yells] Look at me when I'm talking to you! Detective Gautreaux: Now, Solina, you... you can't see me. Solina: Of course I can.
[last lines] Mary: I am Mary Van Helsing. I am my father's daughter. And nothing can ever take that away.
Solina: [to Simon] You Brits like to sweet-talk and you Brits like to romance, and all I wanna do is suck.
Lucy: You had him every night in your dreams and you never even shared!
Nightshade: I said I was sorry...
Valerie Sharp: You gettin' the crash? You gettin' the sunset? You gettin' the tits? J.T.: Yeah, well, it's the talent that matters, Val. Valerie Sharp: And don't you forget it.
Lucy: I was named after the "Peanuts" character.
Solina: [to Simon about to kill her] Go ahead. Cut me. Won't you have a lot to explain.
[Mary escapes from the vampiric Lucy and enters an eerie velvet hallway only to quickly encounter Valerie, also a vampire. Valerie screeches at a frightened Mary, who corners her] Valerie Sharp: [demonic] So what make you the one? What do you have that we don't have? Solina: [distorted] Oh, I know. [Solina crawls on the wall from the left] Solina: I know your secret. Oh, yes. Mary: [sobs] No. Solina: Yeah, I can still taste it on your daddy's blood. Valerie Sharp: Oh, yes. The essence. [Solina hisses] Valerie Sharp: What he took from Dracula, he passed on to you. Solina: Born with his blood, but not like the rest of us. Lucy: [appears from the right;sultry] Daddy's little prodigal. Valerie Sharp: Sorry about your old man. We sucked him dry.
Solina: [after turning into a vampire] Oh, Mr. Van Helsing. Haven't you been selfish.
Lucy: It *is* better than chocolate.
Abraham Van Helsing: [about Dracula] He is, quite simply, beyond the reach of death.
Solina: You know, it's a special thing to be chosen. Feels like being born.
Abraham Van Helsing: If anything down here moves, shoot it. You understand? Shoot it in the heart or cut off its head. You understand? They are the undead. Simon Sheppard: The undead... UNDEAD!