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A rich but troubled family find their lives altered by the arrival of a vagrant who tries to drown himself in their swimming pool.
Dave Whiteman: I ate garbage last night, Barbara... and *loved* it!
Dave Whiteman: Got a license? Jerry Baskin: Yeah. Dave Whiteman: [hands him the keys] You drive. Jerry Baskin: Okay. Where to? Dave Whiteman: I don't know. Some days you just want to go, you know? Jerry Baskin: Okay. Let's hit the beach. I got some friends down there. Dave Whiteman: The beach? [laughs] Dave Whiteman: Who's going to run my business? Who's going to pay my bills? Who's... Jerry Baskin: [interrupting] You got enough money to last *ten* lifetimes! Dave Whiteman: [laughs heartily] Yeah... maybe *I* ought to become a bum. No job, no responsibilities... Jerry Baskin: [snorts] You wouldn't last five minutes. Dave Whiteman: You think so? Let's hit the beach, buddy. Pronto!
Dave Whiteman: [Barb is visibly smashed] Hey, Barb? Barbara Whiteman: Mmmmmm? Dave Whiteman: I thought we weren't going to drink any more. Barbara Whiteman: Well, Dave, yeah. It's true. I *am* a vegetarian. But I hear... that vodka... comes from a potato!
Dave Whiteman: Would you like some wine, Al? Al: No, thank you. This is one of my non-drinking days.
Doctor Von Zimmer: Has there been some recent change in living arrangements? Barbara Whiteman: [flatly] We have a houseguest. Doctor Von Zimmer: Oh. [looks at Jerry] Doctor Von Zimmer: How long are you staying? Dave Whiteman: He's staying as long as he likes. And if the doggy doesn't like it, then the doggy can find other living arrangements.
Dave Whiteman: Someone's pissing on my hydrangeas!
Dave Whiteman: Oh, come on! The dog is running the whole house!
Dave Whiteman: Max, I think it's time you stopped all this screwing around and started to learn the hanger business. Max Whiteman: I don't like hangers. Dave Whiteman: You don't like hangers? It's hangers that clothe you, and it's hangers that feed you!
Dave Whiteman: You could have pissed right here! Barbara Whiteman: Dave, he did! He pissed all over the joint.
Dave Whiteman: Hey. You, uh, haven't said anything about the car. Jenny Whiteman: It's nice. Dave Whiteman: Yeah? You don't think it's, uh, too Beverly Hills? Jenny Whiteman: Daddy, you work very hard for your money. You don't have to justify anything. Dave Whiteman: I know, it's just that, you know... maybe I'm feeling a little guilty. Jenny Whiteman: Guilt sucks.