Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story Quotes
A group of misfits enter a Las Vegas dodgeball tournament in order to save their cherished local gym from the onslaught of a corporate health fitness chain.
Lance Armstrong: Could I get a bottle of water. - - Hey, aren't you Peter La Fleur?
Peter La Fleur: Lance Armstrong!
Lance Armstrong: Yeah, that's me. But I'm a big fan of yours.
Peter La Fleur: Really?
Lance Armstrong: Yeah, I've been watching the dodgeball tournament on the Ocho. ESPN 8. I just can't get enough of it. But, good luck in the tournament. I'm really pulling for you against those jerks from Globo Gym. I think you better hurry up or you're gonna be late.
Peter La Fleur: Uh, actually I decided to quit... Lance.
Lance Armstrong: Quit? You know, once I was thinking about quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer, all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and I won the Tour de France five times in a row. But I'm sure you have a good reason to quit. So what are you dying from that's keeping you from the finals?
Peter La Fleur: Right now it feels a little bit like... shame.
Lance Armstrong: Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't have anything to regret for the rest of their life. But good luck to you Peter. I'm sure this decision won't haunt you forever.
Peter La Fleur: Lance Armstrong!
Lance Armstrong: Yeah, that's me. But I'm a big fan of yours.
Peter La Fleur: Really?
Lance Armstrong: Yeah, I've been watching the dodgeball tournament on the Ocho. ESPN 8. I just can't get enough of it. But, good luck in the tournament. I'm really pulling for you against those jerks from Globo Gym. I think you better hurry up or you're gonna be late.
Peter La Fleur: Uh, actually I decided to quit... Lance.
Lance Armstrong: Quit? You know, once I was thinking about quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer, all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and I won the Tour de France five times in a row. But I'm sure you have a good reason to quit. So what are you dying from that's keeping you from the finals?
Peter La Fleur: Right now it feels a little bit like... shame.
Lance Armstrong: Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't have anything to regret for the rest of their life. But good luck to you Peter. I'm sure this decision won't haunt you forever.
White Goodman: Go ahead, make your jokes, Mr. Jokey... Joke-maker. But let me hit you with some knowledge. Quit now. Save yourself the embarrassment of losing with these losers in Las Vegas, La Fleur.
Peter La Fleur: Alliteration aside, I'll take my chances in the tournament.
White Goodman: Yeah, you will take your chances.
Peter La Fleur: I know. I just said that.
White Goodman: I know you just said that.
Peter La Fleur: Okay, I'm not sure where you're going with this.
White Goodman: Well, I'm not sure where *you're* going with this.
Peter La Fleur: That's what I said.
White Goodman: That's what I'm saying to *you*.
Peter La Fleur: All right.
White Goodman: ...Touché.
Peter La Fleur: Alliteration aside, I'll take my chances in the tournament.
White Goodman: Yeah, you will take your chances.
Peter La Fleur: I know. I just said that.
White Goodman: I know you just said that.
Peter La Fleur: Okay, I'm not sure where you're going with this.
White Goodman: Well, I'm not sure where *you're* going with this.
Peter La Fleur: That's what I said.
White Goodman: That's what I'm saying to *you*.
Peter La Fleur: All right.
White Goodman: ...Touché.
White Goodman: We should mate.
Kate Veatch: What?
White Goodman: Date! We should date some time. Socially. Go out and kick it.
[Kate retches, then forces it down]
White Goodman: Are you okay?
Kate Veatch: I'm fine. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
White Goodman: In some cultures, they only eat vomit. I never been there, but I read about it... *in a book*.
Kate Veatch: What?
White Goodman: Date! We should date some time. Socially. Go out and kick it.
[Kate retches, then forces it down]
White Goodman: Are you okay?
Kate Veatch: I'm fine. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
White Goodman: In some cultures, they only eat vomit. I never been there, but I read about it... *in a book*.
Kate Veatch: For instance, do you realize you haven't collected any membership fees in 13 months?
Peter La Fleur: Hmmm...
Kate Veatch: I'm curious, is it strictly apathy, or do you really not have a goal in life?
Peter La Fleur: I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya... it feels phenomenal.
Kate Veatch: Well I guess that makes sense, in a really sad way.
Peter La Fleur: Sad? You want to know what's sad? Six grown men playing dodgeball.
Peter La Fleur: Hmmm...
Kate Veatch: I'm curious, is it strictly apathy, or do you really not have a goal in life?
Peter La Fleur: I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya... it feels phenomenal.
Kate Veatch: Well I guess that makes sense, in a really sad way.
Peter La Fleur: Sad? You want to know what's sad? Six grown men playing dodgeball.
Peter La Fleur: Look, White, I know that we've had our differences in the past...
White Goodman: Differences? Is that what you call sleeping with three of my female trainers?
Peter La Fleur: That was one night.
White Goodman: Or what about that strip-o-gram you sent me for the Globo Gym one year anniversary?
Peter La Fleur: The stripper was meant to be congratulatory.
White Goodman: It was also a man!
White Goodman: Differences? Is that what you call sleeping with three of my female trainers?
Peter La Fleur: That was one night.
White Goodman: Or what about that strip-o-gram you sent me for the Globo Gym one year anniversary?
Peter La Fleur: The stripper was meant to be congratulatory.
White Goodman: It was also a man!
Peter La Fleur: You need some help leaving White?
White Goodman: This doesn't concern you, Lafleur.
Peter La Fleur: Not nearly as much as your hair does, that's for sure, but uh, I believe she asked you to leave.
White Goodman: I get it, you caught the scent of a lesser stag in your nostrils. Pity. I'll let you have your little moment, LaFleur, 'cause after this tournament, your gym, your life - and your gal - are gonna be mine. To be continued.
[Reaches up to caress her]
Kate Veatch: [Judo-grabs White Goodman and slams his face into the wall, leaving a streak of makeup] You don't get to touch me, ever!
Peter La Fleur: Okay, Romeo, let me help you up.
White Goodman: Get off of me, don't you touch me! It is over between us, Kate. Nobody makes me bleed my own blood - nobody!
White Goodman: This doesn't concern you, Lafleur.
Peter La Fleur: Not nearly as much as your hair does, that's for sure, but uh, I believe she asked you to leave.
White Goodman: I get it, you caught the scent of a lesser stag in your nostrils. Pity. I'll let you have your little moment, LaFleur, 'cause after this tournament, your gym, your life - and your gal - are gonna be mine. To be continued.
[Reaches up to caress her]
Kate Veatch: [Judo-grabs White Goodman and slams his face into the wall, leaving a streak of makeup] You don't get to touch me, ever!
Peter La Fleur: Okay, Romeo, let me help you up.
White Goodman: Get off of me, don't you touch me! It is over between us, Kate. Nobody makes me bleed my own blood - nobody!
White Goodman: This is it, La 'Loser.' You ready for the, whoo, hurricane?
Peter La Fleur: Just don't go cryin' to your mommy when I spank you in front of all these people, White.
White Goodman: You don't go cryin' to your daddy after I wipe it up with your face.
Peter La Fleur: Uh, White?
White Goodman: Yeah?
Peter La Fleur: You look awful fat in those pants.
Peter La Fleur: Just don't go cryin' to your mommy when I spank you in front of all these people, White.
White Goodman: You don't go cryin' to your daddy after I wipe it up with your face.
Peter La Fleur: Uh, White?
White Goodman: Yeah?
Peter La Fleur: You look awful fat in those pants.
Peter La Fleur: [after Patches hits Justin in the face with a wrench] Yeah, uh, Patches... are you sure that this is completely necessary?
Patches O'Houlihan: Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine?
Peter La Fleur: Probably not.
Patches O'Houlihan: No, but I do it anyway because it's sterile and I like the taste.
Peter La Fleur: ...Okay.
Patches O'Houlihan: Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine?
Peter La Fleur: Probably not.
Patches O'Houlihan: No, but I do it anyway because it's sterile and I like the taste.
Peter La Fleur: ...Okay.
Gordon: Hey, Honey!
[his wife gives the "L" sign]
Gordon: "L" for love! Good times.
Dwight: "L" for love? That doesn't mean love, Gordon...
Peter La Fleur: No, it's... people have different translations for different things and that's a special bond that you have with uh... with your mail-order wife. I think that's nice. It's fine.
[his wife gives the "L" sign]
Gordon: "L" for love! Good times.
Dwight: "L" for love? That doesn't mean love, Gordon...
Peter La Fleur: No, it's... people have different translations for different things and that's a special bond that you have with uh... with your mail-order wife. I think that's nice. It's fine.
[opening: Globo Gym commercial]
Globo Gym Announcer: Tired of the same old you? Tired of being out of shape and out of luck with the opposite sex? Tired of being overweight and under-attractive?
White Goodman: [finishing a ride on the skis] Yeah! Oh, hello. I'm White Goodman, Owner, Operator, and Founder of Globo Gym America Corp, and I'm here to tell you that you don't have to be stuck with what ya got.
[a buffed Globo Gym member is lifting weights]
White Goodman: Hey, Rory. Looking good. Here at Globo Gym, we understand that "Ugliness" and "Fatness" are genetic disorders, much like baldness or necrophilia, and it's only your fault if you don't hate yourself enough to do something about it.
White Goodman: [climbing on the rocky wall; grunts] And that's where we come in.
[evil laughter]
White Goodman: Globo Gym employs a highly-trained, quasi-cultural staff of personal alterational specialists. And with our competitively-priced on-site cosmetic surgery, we can turn that Frankenstein you see in the mirror every morning into a Franken-fine!
White Goodman: [wheels out a bandaged-like-a-mummy person in a wheelchair] Of course you'll still be you in a legal sense, but think of it as a thinner, more attractive, better you than you could ever become without us. How do I know? Well, I'm not only the founder of Globo Gym. I'm also a client.
[a picture of a 600-pound White Goodman from 14 years ago]
White Goodman: That's me. Six years and 600 pounds ago... before I knew how much I hated myself. But that all changed once I founded Globo Gym. But don't just take my word for it. Listen to these Globo-Gymers tell you how it is.
Globo Gym Announcer: Tired of the same old you? Tired of being out of shape and out of luck with the opposite sex? Tired of being overweight and under-attractive?
White Goodman: [finishing a ride on the skis] Yeah! Oh, hello. I'm White Goodman, Owner, Operator, and Founder of Globo Gym America Corp, and I'm here to tell you that you don't have to be stuck with what ya got.
[a buffed Globo Gym member is lifting weights]
White Goodman: Hey, Rory. Looking good. Here at Globo Gym, we understand that "Ugliness" and "Fatness" are genetic disorders, much like baldness or necrophilia, and it's only your fault if you don't hate yourself enough to do something about it.
White Goodman: [climbing on the rocky wall; grunts] And that's where we come in.
[evil laughter]
White Goodman: Globo Gym employs a highly-trained, quasi-cultural staff of personal alterational specialists. And with our competitively-priced on-site cosmetic surgery, we can turn that Frankenstein you see in the mirror every morning into a Franken-fine!
White Goodman: [wheels out a bandaged-like-a-mummy person in a wheelchair] Of course you'll still be you in a legal sense, but think of it as a thinner, more attractive, better you than you could ever become without us. How do I know? Well, I'm not only the founder of Globo Gym. I'm also a client.
[a picture of a 600-pound White Goodman from 14 years ago]
White Goodman: That's me. Six years and 600 pounds ago... before I knew how much I hated myself. But that all changed once I founded Globo Gym. But don't just take my word for it. Listen to these Globo-Gymers tell you how it is.
Owen: [after Patches O'Houlihan has been killed] Look on the bright side, at least we've still got Peter!
Dwight: Yeah, but Globo Gym's got guys named Laser, and Blazer, and Tazer, and all kinds of "azer's"! Without Patches, we're going to get our taints handed to us, that's what!
Justin: [Whispers to Gordon] What's a taint?
Gordon: I don't know, but it sounds *bad*!
Dwight: Yeah, but Globo Gym's got guys named Laser, and Blazer, and Tazer, and all kinds of "azer's"! Without Patches, we're going to get our taints handed to us, that's what!
Justin: [Whispers to Gordon] What's a taint?
Gordon: I don't know, but it sounds *bad*!
White Goodman: Stick it in your ear, La Fleur. I wouldn't sell you your gym back for all of King Midas' silver. The gym is mine! So you can take your band of yellow-bellied losers and just crawl on outta here!
Peter La Fleur: You're right, White. I can't make you sell back my gym, so I'll just take your advice and invest in something. Say... the controlling stake of Globo Gym.
White Goodman: That's preposterous! I'd never allow it.
Kate Veatch: Globo Gym is a publicly-traded company, there's nothing you can do about it.
Peter La Fleur: So, I would control Globo Gym and... everything that Globo Gym owns. Which as of last night is Average Joe's Gym!
[Average Joe's Team cheering]
Peter La Fleur: I'm your new boss, White.
White Goodman: You can't be my boss! Nobody's my boss! I'm my own boss! I created myself!
Peter La Fleur: You're fired, pal.
Peter La Fleur: You're right, White. I can't make you sell back my gym, so I'll just take your advice and invest in something. Say... the controlling stake of Globo Gym.
White Goodman: That's preposterous! I'd never allow it.
Kate Veatch: Globo Gym is a publicly-traded company, there's nothing you can do about it.
Peter La Fleur: So, I would control Globo Gym and... everything that Globo Gym owns. Which as of last night is Average Joe's Gym!
[Average Joe's Team cheering]
Peter La Fleur: I'm your new boss, White.
White Goodman: You can't be my boss! Nobody's my boss! I'm my own boss! I created myself!
Peter La Fleur: You're fired, pal.
White Goodman: [about Average Joe's] Oh, really, you like it over there with those freaks in Losertown?
Kate Veatch: Freaks? They're not freaks, they're people just like you and me.
White Goodman: People, haha, people just like you and me! That is what I love about you Kate! You've got a *personality*!
Kate Veatch: Freaks? They're not freaks, they're people just like you and me.
White Goodman: People, haha, people just like you and me! That is what I love about you Kate! You've got a *personality*!
Casino Worker: [a casino worker and a security guard wheels out a huge treasue chest] Here are your winnings, Mr. La Fleur. Congratuations.
Peter La Fleur: Right on time. I appreciate it. Thanks, guys.
White Goodman: [curious with anger] Winnings? What winnings? What winnings? What is that?
Peter La Fleur: Oh, gosh! I totally forgot to tell you, White. I took the $100,000 bribe you gave me last night and I put on us to win. We were going at fifty to one. Anyone? Top of your head. What's 50 times $100,000?
Owen: $50,000?
Kate Veatch: $5 million! Peter, are you kidding me?
Peter La Fleur: [opens the treasure chest, revealing stacks of cash] Surprise!
Peter La Fleur: Right on time. I appreciate it. Thanks, guys.
White Goodman: [curious with anger] Winnings? What winnings? What winnings? What is that?
Peter La Fleur: Oh, gosh! I totally forgot to tell you, White. I took the $100,000 bribe you gave me last night and I put on us to win. We were going at fifty to one. Anyone? Top of your head. What's 50 times $100,000?
Owen: $50,000?
Kate Veatch: $5 million! Peter, are you kidding me?
Peter La Fleur: [opens the treasure chest, revealing stacks of cash] Surprise!
Peter La Fleur: That feels good. Oh, that tickle machine
[chuckles]
Peter La Fleur: [Peter's dog, Crash, jumps on him]
Peter La Fleur: Crash, no! Crash, out! Bad dog! No grundle.
White Goodman: [from the G.G. commercial] C'mon down and join the winning team, because here at Globo Gym...
White & The Globo Gym Team: [all together] We're better than you...
White Goodman: and we know it!
Peter La Fleur: [disgust] Spare me.
[chuckles]
Peter La Fleur: [Peter's dog, Crash, jumps on him]
Peter La Fleur: Crash, no! Crash, out! Bad dog! No grundle.
White Goodman: [from the G.G. commercial] C'mon down and join the winning team, because here at Globo Gym...
White & The Globo Gym Team: [all together] We're better than you...
White Goodman: and we know it!
Peter La Fleur: [disgust] Spare me.
Justin: Well, it'll be worth my while when I make the cheerleading squad this time. Prove to Amber and everyone else that I'm not a loser.
Peter La Fleur: Wait, you want to make the cheerleading squad to prove to a girl that you are not a loser?
Justin: Yeah... Why?
Peter La Fleur: Nothing, just high school's changed a little since I was a kid.
Peter La Fleur: Wait, you want to make the cheerleading squad to prove to a girl that you are not a loser?
Justin: Yeah... Why?
Peter La Fleur: Nothing, just high school's changed a little since I was a kid.
[before the championship game]
Peter La Fleur: Okay guys, let's play smart. Wait for your two-on-ones, cover closely for your pickups. What's our team motto?
Owen: Aim low?
Peter La Fleur: That's right. All I'm asking is that you give it your best for Patches. I say we go out there, we let it all hang loose, try to have some fun. I mean, it's only dodgeball, right?
[Everyone laughs]
Peter La Fleur: Put 'em in.
[Hands in]
Peter La Fleur: One, two, three...
Peter La Fleur, Owen, Justin, Kate Veatch, Dwight, Gordon: JOE'S!
Peter La Fleur: Okay guys, let's play smart. Wait for your two-on-ones, cover closely for your pickups. What's our team motto?
Owen: Aim low?
Peter La Fleur: That's right. All I'm asking is that you give it your best for Patches. I say we go out there, we let it all hang loose, try to have some fun. I mean, it's only dodgeball, right?
[Everyone laughs]
Peter La Fleur: Put 'em in.
[Hands in]
Peter La Fleur: One, two, three...
Peter La Fleur, Owen, Justin, Kate Veatch, Dwight, Gordon: JOE'S!
Justin: This place is too important to us! Gordon, where do you go when your wife changes the locks?
Gordon: Average Joe's.
Justin: Right! Dwight, Owen, what are you going to do if Average Joe's closes? You gonna work at the airport again?
Dwight: Say what? I ain't working at no airport!
Justin: No, 'cause you hated it! Steve! Where is it you go to do... whatever it is that you do?
Steve the Pirate: Garrr! Joe's be the only place for Steve!
Gordon: Average Joe's.
Justin: Right! Dwight, Owen, what are you going to do if Average Joe's closes? You gonna work at the airport again?
Dwight: Say what? I ain't working at no airport!
Justin: No, 'cause you hated it! Steve! Where is it you go to do... whatever it is that you do?
Steve the Pirate: Garrr! Joe's be the only place for Steve!
White Goodman: So, that's the deal... I give you $100,000. You sign over the deed to your gym. Period. End o' story.
Peter La Fleur: You really think you can come in here and buy me out, White? You're a lot dumber than I thought.
White Goodman: Hmm. Oh, I don't think I'm a lot dumber than you thought that I think that I thought I was once.
Peter La Fleur: You really think you can come in here and buy me out, White? You're a lot dumber than I thought.
White Goodman: Hmm. Oh, I don't think I'm a lot dumber than you thought that I think that I thought I was once.
Justin: How many teams are in this qualifier?
Gordon: Uh, two
Justin: So all we have to do is beat this team and we're in the vegas open, right?
Gordon: Yeah!
Owen: That seems pretty simple.
Dwight: Who's the other team?
Gordon: Uh, I have it right here, just a second... Troop 417
Steve the Pirate: Christ! We're playin' boyscouts!
Peter La Fleur: Not quite!
[Troop 417 are tough-looking girlscouts. One spits on the ground]
Steve the Pirate: BOLLOCKS!
Gordon: Uh, two
Justin: So all we have to do is beat this team and we're in the vegas open, right?
Gordon: Yeah!
Owen: That seems pretty simple.
Dwight: Who's the other team?
Gordon: Uh, I have it right here, just a second... Troop 417
Steve the Pirate: Christ! We're playin' boyscouts!
Peter La Fleur: Not quite!
[Troop 417 are tough-looking girlscouts. One spits on the ground]
Steve the Pirate: BOLLOCKS!
[closing credits; 1st ever Average Joe's commerical upon the takeover from Globo Gym]
Peter La Fleur: Hi. I'm Peter La Fleur, Owner and Operator of Average Joe's Gym. And I'm here to tell you, you're perfect just the way you are. But if you feel like losing a few pounds, gettin' healthier, and making some good friends in the process...
[hands a towel to a female member]
Peter La Fleur: ...then Joe's is the place for you. Don't forget that Youth Dodgeball classes are forming right now. So come on down and learn a great game the way it's supposed to be played. Right, kids?
Average Joe's Kids: Right!
[throws the balls at Peter and the team]
Peter La Fleur: Hi. I'm Peter La Fleur, Owner and Operator of Average Joe's Gym. And I'm here to tell you, you're perfect just the way you are. But if you feel like losing a few pounds, gettin' healthier, and making some good friends in the process...
[hands a towel to a female member]
Peter La Fleur: ...then Joe's is the place for you. Don't forget that Youth Dodgeball classes are forming right now. So come on down and learn a great game the way it's supposed to be played. Right, kids?
Average Joe's Kids: Right!
[throws the balls at Peter and the team]
[a classic Dodgeball instructional film begins]
Uber Film Narrator: [U.A.I.F fanfare] Uber-American Instructional Films, teaching America's youth since 1938.
[Opening; A boy rides a scooter, while a girl jogs behind him. Now we see a young boy painting a fence]
Uber Film Narrator: Hey there, Timmy!
Timmy: [yells] Holy mackerel, Mister. You scared the jeepers out of me.
Uber Film Narrator: How would you like to take a break from that fine lead-based paint... and learn about Dodgeball?
Timmy: Boy, would I!
[the next scene take Timmy into a Opium Dem in China]
Timmy: Wow! Where am I, Mister?
Uber Film Narrator: You're in a Chinese Opium Dem, Timmy. This is where the sport of Dodgeball was invented in the 15th Century... by Opium-addictive Chinamen. But back then, the Chinamen threw severed heads at each other, instead of the A.D.A.A.-approved balls we use today.
Timmy: A.D.A.A.?
Uber Film Narrator: That's the American Dodgeball Association of America. Dodgeball is played with six players on each team... and six rubber balls. The object of the game is to eliminate the opposing players. Once all the players on team are eliminated, the opposing team wins!
Timmy: Wow! I can't wait to get the fellas together and play!
Uber Film Narrator: [U.A.I.F fanfare] Uber-American Instructional Films, teaching America's youth since 1938.
[Opening; A boy rides a scooter, while a girl jogs behind him. Now we see a young boy painting a fence]
Uber Film Narrator: Hey there, Timmy!
Timmy: [yells] Holy mackerel, Mister. You scared the jeepers out of me.
Uber Film Narrator: How would you like to take a break from that fine lead-based paint... and learn about Dodgeball?
Timmy: Boy, would I!
[the next scene take Timmy into a Opium Dem in China]
Timmy: Wow! Where am I, Mister?
Uber Film Narrator: You're in a Chinese Opium Dem, Timmy. This is where the sport of Dodgeball was invented in the 15th Century... by Opium-addictive Chinamen. But back then, the Chinamen threw severed heads at each other, instead of the A.D.A.A.-approved balls we use today.
Timmy: A.D.A.A.?
Uber Film Narrator: That's the American Dodgeball Association of America. Dodgeball is played with six players on each team... and six rubber balls. The object of the game is to eliminate the opposing players. Once all the players on team are eliminated, the opposing team wins!
Timmy: Wow! I can't wait to get the fellas together and play!
Gordon: Guy, not to sound negative, but we've only had one customer, and it's that weird guy who keeps paying Justin to wash his truck.
[the guys turn around to see Justin scrubbing a monster truck]
Weird Guy with Monster Truck: [while rubbing his belly] That's it, boy. Get in there all nice and deep like.
[the guys turn around to see Justin scrubbing a monster truck]
Weird Guy with Monster Truck: [while rubbing his belly] That's it, boy. Get in there all nice and deep like.
White Goodman: Meet Fran Stalinofskivitchdavitovichsky. In her home country of Romanovia, dodgeball is the national sport and her nuclear power plant's team won the championship five years running, which makes her the deadliest woman on earth with a dodgeball. Ball me, Blazer.
[Blazer passes him a dodgeball]
White Goodman: Show them, Fran.
[Fran takes the ball and hurls it at a man on the other side of the bar, knocking him into the jukebox. He drops to the floor, limp]
White Goodman: And that's just her change-up. End of demo. We are the Globo Gym Purple Cobras, and we will, we will, rock you!
Justin: [frightened whisper] I think that guy might really be dead.
[Blazer passes him a dodgeball]
White Goodman: Show them, Fran.
[Fran takes the ball and hurls it at a man on the other side of the bar, knocking him into the jukebox. He drops to the floor, limp]
White Goodman: And that's just her change-up. End of demo. We are the Globo Gym Purple Cobras, and we will, we will, rock you!
Justin: [frightened whisper] I think that guy might really be dead.
Cotton McKnight: Do you believe in unlikelihoods? Average Joe's shocking the dodgeball world and upsetting Globo Gym in the championship match!
Pepper Brooks: Unbelievable!
Cotton McKnight: Ladies and gentlemen, I have been to the Great Wall of China, I have seen the Pyramids of Egypt, I've even witnessed a grown man satisfy a camel. But never in all my years as a sportscaster have I witnessed something as improbable, as impossible, as what we've witnessed here today!
Pepper Brooks: Unbelievable!
Cotton McKnight: Ladies and gentlemen, I have been to the Great Wall of China, I have seen the Pyramids of Egypt, I've even witnessed a grown man satisfy a camel. But never in all my years as a sportscaster have I witnessed something as improbable, as impossible, as what we've witnessed here today!
