Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star

Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star Quotes

A thirty-something former child star hires a foster family to re-create the childhood he never had.

[Acting as a 6-year-old, finding a new bike on Christmas morning]
Dickie Roberts: Holy shit, a bike!
Rob Reiner: You're six.
Dickie Roberts: Holy crap, a bike!
Rob Reiner: You're six.
Dickie Roberts: Goo-goo, ga-ga, bikey!
Rob Reiner: Too far back.
Dickie Roberts: This is Nuckin' Futs!
Sally Finney: Brick wall, waterfall, Dickie thinks he got it all but he don't, and I do so Boom with that attitude. Peace punch, Capt'n Crunch, I've got something you can't touch. Bang-bang choo-choo train, wind me up I do my thing. No Reeses Pieces, 7-Up, you mess with me, I'll mess you up.
Dickie Roberts: Insane in the membrane! Insane, got no brain!
Mrs. Gertrude: Aren't you a bit big to be in a stroller?
Dickie Roberts: Aren't you bit big to be on the sidewalk?
Barry Williams: I bet you a thousand dollars... no, make that a hundred dollars and the actual football we used to hit Marcia with in the whole "My nose, My nose" episode, that Brendan Frasier never calls.
[Dickie's phone rings]
Dickie Roberts: Hold on.
[answers phone]
Dickie Roberts: Go for Dickie.
[everyone else laughs]
Dickie Roberts: Brendan? Yes, of course I can meet Rob Reiner tomorrow!
Dickie Roberts: [laughs and points at Barry Williams, who glares at him]
Dickie Roberts: [after seeing bump on receptionist's head] Yikes!... I mean, not yikes. I mean what bump?
Grace Finney: Wow, sift through that to find the nugget of compliment.
Dickie Roberts: Sift away sifty.
Dickie Roberts: You know who else I don't get? Vin Diesel. I mean, is he good looking? Is he Chinese, or what? I mean, I don't know...
Leif Garrett: That's so horrible, man. Geez, you're such a dick. Besides, he would kick your ass.
Dickie Roberts: When I was your age, I did whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.
Sally Finney: See, that might be why you're such a mess now.
Dickie Roberts: Oh. How dare you!
Dickie Roberts: [having cereal] Hey, look, there's a prize inside!
[Gives Grace the middle finger]
Bully: Hey!
Dickie Roberts: Hey? Don't you mean "Oink"?
Girl: [two girls spot Leif Garrett and Dickie talking on the sidewalk] Oh, my God! You're Leif Garrett! I used to have such a crush on you!
Girl: Can I have your autograph?
Dickie Roberts: You want my autograph too? Dickie Roberts.
Girl: No, I'm fine.
Dickie Roberts: How about if I put it on a $5 bill?
Girl: Make it a 20?
Dickie Roberts: [while talking to an overweight woman] What? Cat got your tongue or did you eat that for breakfast too?
Sidney Wernick: I may have to go to the bathroom every 45 minutes, but at least I get to pee in a gold toilet.
Dustin Diamond, Corey Feldman, Barry Williams: Brick wall, waterfall, Danny thinks he's got it all. But he don't, and we do, so boom with that attitude or Reese's Pieces, Seven-Up, mess with us, we'll mess you up!
Sally Finney: Cut! That was *so* good!
[turns around and whispers]
Sally Finney: They're driving me *crazy*!
Sally Finney: Dickie, there has to be water on it!
Dickie Roberts: [to a bully picking on Sam] Is that red hair, or did someone light a fart off your mouth?
Dickie Roberts: Good night, prudes. Go have your G rated dreams. Prude filled dreams. Dream the dream of prudes. Prude...
Sam Finney: Go to sleep Dickie!
Dickie Roberts: That's a great idea! Not only is she sexy she's a smart Mommy!
Grace Finney: Why did that compliment almost make me puke?
Dickie Roberts: [After singing the wrong words for a song on the radio] Changing the words, not the vibe.
Dickie Roberts: May I help you? Was I being too loud in my treeehouse?
Sally Finney: Dickie, you promised to help me with my pep squad tryouts.
Dickie Roberts: Oh, I will. That pep squad spot's got your name all over it. Did I ever tell you I was a backup dancer for Vanilla Ice?
Sam Finney: [laughs] No way!
Dickie Roberts: Oh, yeah, I owe him a call.
Grace Finney: [Grace is pushing Dickie down the sidewalk in a stroller]
Grace Finney: This feels a little odd.
Dickie Roberts: Dude, I'm the one in the stroller.
Grace Finney: Did you just call me, dude?
Dickie Roberts: I mean mommy.
Sally Finney: [both looking outside at treehouse] I wonder what he's doing up there.
Sam Finney: Who cares, just as long as Stranger Danger's out of our house.
Sally Finney: But still.
Sam Finney: Yeah. It actually looks pretty cool. Is that a disco ball?
Dickie Roberts: [inside treehouse] Woo!
Sally Finney: Seem, maybe we should peek our heads in.
Dickie Roberts: Whoa! You ever have such a bad wipeout you don't even feel it?
[falls]
Sam Finney: That wasn't one of them!

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