Desperately Seeking Susan Quotes
A bored suburban housewife, seeking adventure to her life, accidentally gets hit on the head, wakes up with amnesia, and is mistaken for a free-spirited New York City drifter named Susan.
Leslie: I can't believe Roberta's a prostitute.
Gary: Roberta's not a prostitute.
Leslie: I saw this thing on television about this woman who turned tricks in the city from nine until noon, then went shopping all afternoon. It was years before her husband found out about it. Oh, my God, I've heard that four out of five prostitutes are lesbians.
Gary: Don't you think I would know if my wife was a lesbian?
Leslie: Why? You didn't know she was a prostitute!
Gary: Roberta's not a prostitute.
Leslie: I saw this thing on television about this woman who turned tricks in the city from nine until noon, then went shopping all afternoon. It was years before her husband found out about it. Oh, my God, I've heard that four out of five prostitutes are lesbians.
Gary: Don't you think I would know if my wife was a lesbian?
Leslie: Why? You didn't know she was a prostitute!
Susan: Roberta kept a diary. Great stuff.
[Reading]
Susan: "Couldn't sleep. Went into kitchen. Gary came in, turned on light. Gary left. Finished birthday cake." Pages of it. It's got to be a cover, nobody's life could be this boring!
Gary: You shouldn't be reading that, it's personal.
Susan: Yeah, well it's not about her, it's about me.
[Reading]
Susan: "He's looking for Susan again. This is the fifth ad he's run. Why does he want to see her so badly? Who is she?" And here's my picture.
[Reading]
Susan: "Couldn't sleep. Went into kitchen. Gary came in, turned on light. Gary left. Finished birthday cake." Pages of it. It's got to be a cover, nobody's life could be this boring!
Gary: You shouldn't be reading that, it's personal.
Susan: Yeah, well it's not about her, it's about me.
[Reading]
Susan: "He's looking for Susan again. This is the fifth ad he's run. Why does he want to see her so badly? Who is she?" And here's my picture.
Roberta: Here it is, a message from Jim.
[Reading from newspaper]
Roberta: "Desperately seeking Susan. Meet me, four o'clock, Battery Park. Keep the faith. Love, Jim."
Leslie: Jim? Susan? Do you know these people?
Roberta: They send messages through the personal ads, that's how they hook up. Last year she was in Mexico City, then Los Angeles, now New York. Desperate. I love that word.
Leslie: Everybody I know is desperate, except for you.
Roberta: I'm desperate.
Leslie: Ha!
Roberta: Well, sort of.
[Reading from newspaper]
Roberta: "Desperately seeking Susan. Meet me, four o'clock, Battery Park. Keep the faith. Love, Jim."
Leslie: Jim? Susan? Do you know these people?
Roberta: They send messages through the personal ads, that's how they hook up. Last year she was in Mexico City, then Los Angeles, now New York. Desperate. I love that word.
Leslie: Everybody I know is desperate, except for you.
Roberta: I'm desperate.
Leslie: Ha!
Roberta: Well, sort of.
Gary: Susan! What are you doing?
Susan: I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?
Gary: You said you were going to leave!
Susan: All right, good news first. Roberta's not working with the greaseball.
Gary: My wife just got picked up on the lower east side escaping from her gun-toting pimp.
Susan: He's not a pimp. Problem is, he's probably going to try to kill her because he thinks she's me.
Susan: I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?
Gary: You said you were going to leave!
Susan: All right, good news first. Roberta's not working with the greaseball.
Gary: My wife just got picked up on the lower east side escaping from her gun-toting pimp.
Susan: He's not a pimp. Problem is, he's probably going to try to kill her because he thinks she's me.
Gary: I didn't know about all this.
Susan: Between you and me, how much do you really know about Roberta? Why didn't you tell me she read the personals? We could have settled this yesterday.
Gary: She read them all the time. I didn't think...
Susan: Yeah, well, fortunately for everyone, I'm here and I'm thinking.
Susan: Between you and me, how much do you really know about Roberta? Why didn't you tell me she read the personals? We could have settled this yesterday.
Gary: She read them all the time. I didn't think...
Susan: Yeah, well, fortunately for everyone, I'm here and I'm thinking.
