Delivery Man Quotes
An affable underachiever finds out he's fathered 533 children through anonymous donations to a fertility clinic 20 years ago. Now he must decide whether or not to come forward when 142 of them file a lawsuit to reveal his identity.
David: Emma... Will you marry me?
Emma: Won't you wait and see if I get my figure back?
David: If you stay flabby, I promise I'll get flabby as well.
Emma: I wonder if that's the first time anyone's used the word "flabby" in a marriage proposal.
[she kisses him]
David: Emma... I'm Starbuck.
Emma: [whispers angrily] Why are you always scamming? How could you think that a marriage proposal would excuse the fact that you're a father of 533 children? David! God! This... this is no longer your child!
David: I wanna be very clear on two points. The first point: I said I was going to change as quickly as possible, and I am doing that. I've had a chance to do a lot of thinking. A lot. And I've come to the conclusion that it's not anyone but me who can decide if I am a father or not. Not a judge, not my family, not Dr. Phil... And in the end, not you. In other words, no one but the father can decide if he is the father or not. And I, David Wozniak, am the father of this child. Now, the other reality that can't be changed, is the fact that I am Starbuck. Now, this obviously can be something frightening, since it's something totally new and no one on this planet has ever experienced it before. It's, uh, you know, it's... it is like the first steps on the moon. But despite a few drawbacks, I can think that we can actually take away from this a tremendous amount of joy. Not to mention vast amounts of free babysitting. I don't know how this is going to work out. Right now, me coming out and revealing who I am, I'm risking everything. I'm risking all for the well-being of my 533 kids. And I would think that you seeing me risk all should convince you that whatever happens, that whatever turmoil this kid right here gets into, I will be there. Now, you asked me to have a life. Well, here it is. This is my life. Maybe a little bit strange. And a bit oversized. But it's my life. The second point...
Emma: That was a very long first point.
David: The first point was long. The second point... The marriage proposal was not a scam.
Emma: The second point was much shorter.
David: I need you in my life.
[Emma sighs before she leans in and kisses him again]
Emma: Promise me that one day you will take me to Venice.
Emma: Won't you wait and see if I get my figure back?
David: If you stay flabby, I promise I'll get flabby as well.
Emma: I wonder if that's the first time anyone's used the word "flabby" in a marriage proposal.
[she kisses him]
David: Emma... I'm Starbuck.
Emma: [whispers angrily] Why are you always scamming? How could you think that a marriage proposal would excuse the fact that you're a father of 533 children? David! God! This... this is no longer your child!
David: I wanna be very clear on two points. The first point: I said I was going to change as quickly as possible, and I am doing that. I've had a chance to do a lot of thinking. A lot. And I've come to the conclusion that it's not anyone but me who can decide if I am a father or not. Not a judge, not my family, not Dr. Phil... And in the end, not you. In other words, no one but the father can decide if he is the father or not. And I, David Wozniak, am the father of this child. Now, the other reality that can't be changed, is the fact that I am Starbuck. Now, this obviously can be something frightening, since it's something totally new and no one on this planet has ever experienced it before. It's, uh, you know, it's... it is like the first steps on the moon. But despite a few drawbacks, I can think that we can actually take away from this a tremendous amount of joy. Not to mention vast amounts of free babysitting. I don't know how this is going to work out. Right now, me coming out and revealing who I am, I'm risking everything. I'm risking all for the well-being of my 533 kids. And I would think that you seeing me risk all should convince you that whatever happens, that whatever turmoil this kid right here gets into, I will be there. Now, you asked me to have a life. Well, here it is. This is my life. Maybe a little bit strange. And a bit oversized. But it's my life. The second point...
Emma: That was a very long first point.
David: The first point was long. The second point... The marriage proposal was not a scam.
Emma: The second point was much shorter.
David: I need you in my life.
[Emma sighs before she leans in and kisses him again]
Emma: Promise me that one day you will take me to Venice.
David: Congratulations, "darling".
Brett: I had it. I had pitched the perfect game, and I had to screw the whole thing up. My mother saw the whole thing on TV.
David: She must have been surprised to find out that you had a male lover.
Brett: No. She said she always suspected it. She told me we would make a lovely couple.
David: And your kids?
Brett: They think it's cool.
Brett: I had it. I had pitched the perfect game, and I had to screw the whole thing up. My mother saw the whole thing on TV.
David: She must have been surprised to find out that you had a male lover.
Brett: No. She said she always suspected it. She told me we would make a lovely couple.
David: And your kids?
Brett: They think it's cool.
