Dead Ringers Quotes
Twin gynecologists take full advantage of the fact that nobody can tell them apart, until their relationship begins to deteriorate over a woman.
[first lines]
Elliot, Age 9: You've heard about sex...
Beverly, Age 9: Sure I have.
Elliot, Age 9: Well I've discovered why sex is.
Beverly, Age 9: You have? Fantastic.
Raffaella: It's because humans don't live under water.
Beverly, Age 9: I don't get it.
Elliot, Age 9: Well, fish don't need sex because they just lay the eggs and fertilize them in the water. Humans can't do that because they don't live in the water. They have to - internalize the water. Therefore we have sex.
Beverly, Age 9: So you mean humans would have sex if they lived in the water?
Elliot, Age 9: Well they'd have a kind of sex. The kind where you wouldn't have to touch each other.
Beverly, Age 9: I like that idea. Have you heard of scuba diving? It's just new.
Elliot, Age 9: Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus.
Beverly, Age 9: Exactly.
Elliot, Age 9: [noticing girl on porch] Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Beverly, Age 9: Yeah, you ask her.
Elliot, Age 9: Raffaella, will you have sex with us in our bathtub? It's an experiment.
Raffaella: Are you kidding? Fuck off you freaks. I'm telling my father you talk dirty. Besides, I know for a fact you don't even know what fuck is.
[retreats into her house]
Elliot, Age 9: [walking away] They're so different from us. And all because we don't live under water.
Elliot, Age 9: You've heard about sex...
Beverly, Age 9: Sure I have.
Elliot, Age 9: Well I've discovered why sex is.
Beverly, Age 9: You have? Fantastic.
Raffaella: It's because humans don't live under water.
Beverly, Age 9: I don't get it.
Elliot, Age 9: Well, fish don't need sex because they just lay the eggs and fertilize them in the water. Humans can't do that because they don't live in the water. They have to - internalize the water. Therefore we have sex.
Beverly, Age 9: So you mean humans would have sex if they lived in the water?
Elliot, Age 9: Well they'd have a kind of sex. The kind where you wouldn't have to touch each other.
Beverly, Age 9: I like that idea. Have you heard of scuba diving? It's just new.
Elliot, Age 9: Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus.
Beverly, Age 9: Exactly.
Elliot, Age 9: [noticing girl on porch] Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Beverly, Age 9: Yeah, you ask her.
Elliot, Age 9: Raffaella, will you have sex with us in our bathtub? It's an experiment.
Raffaella: Are you kidding? Fuck off you freaks. I'm telling my father you talk dirty. Besides, I know for a fact you don't even know what fuck is.
[retreats into her house]
Elliot, Age 9: [walking away] They're so different from us. And all because we don't live under water.
Elliot Mantle: Don't do this to me, Bev.
Beverly Mantle: But I'm only doing it to me. Why don't you get along with your very own life?
Elliot Mantle: Do you remember the first Siamese twins?
Beverly Mantle: Chang and Eng were joined at the chest.
Elliot Mantle: Remember how they died?
Beverly Mantle: Chang died of a stroke in the middle of the night. He was always the sickly one. He was always the one who drank too much. When Eng woke up beside him to find that his brother was dead... he died of fright. Right there in the bed.
Elliot Mantle: Does that answer your question?
Beverly Mantle: Poor Eli.
Elliot Mantle: Poor Bev.
Beverly Mantle: But I'm only doing it to me. Why don't you get along with your very own life?
Elliot Mantle: Do you remember the first Siamese twins?
Beverly Mantle: Chang and Eng were joined at the chest.
Elliot Mantle: Remember how they died?
Beverly Mantle: Chang died of a stroke in the middle of the night. He was always the sickly one. He was always the one who drank too much. When Eng woke up beside him to find that his brother was dead... he died of fright. Right there in the bed.
Elliot Mantle: Does that answer your question?
Beverly Mantle: Poor Eli.
Elliot Mantle: Poor Bev.
Beverly Mantle: [crying about Claire] Yesterday, I found out she was having an affair. She's unfaithful to me, Eli.
Elliot Mantle: Bev, you mustn't take it so seriously. She's a showbiz lady. What can you expect?
Beverly Mantle: [sobbing hysterically] I'm in love with her! I have to take it seriously!
Elliot Mantle: It can't be love if it does this to you, can it? It can't be love, Bev.
Elliot Mantle: Bev, you mustn't take it so seriously. She's a showbiz lady. What can you expect?
Beverly Mantle: [sobbing hysterically] I'm in love with her! I have to take it seriously!
Elliot Mantle: It can't be love if it does this to you, can it? It can't be love, Bev.
Claire Niveau: You've got a woman's name. Beverly. Why did your mother give you a woman's name?
Beverly Mantle: It's not a woman's name. It's just spelled different.
Claire Niveau: Does your brother have a woman's name too. Meriam spelled with an E and an A?
Beverly Mantle: What are you trying to suggest? That I'm gay or something? That my mother wanted girls? What the fuck is this BULLSHIT PSYCHOANALYSIS?
Beverly Mantle: It's not a woman's name. It's just spelled different.
Claire Niveau: Does your brother have a woman's name too. Meriam spelled with an E and an A?
Beverly Mantle: What are you trying to suggest? That I'm gay or something? That my mother wanted girls? What the fuck is this BULLSHIT PSYCHOANALYSIS?
Beverly, Age 9: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Elliot, Age 9: Yeah. You ask her.
Beverly, Age 9: Raffaella, will you have sex with us in our bathtub? It's an experiment.
Raffaella: Are you kidding? Fuck off, you freaks! I'm telling my father you talk dirty. Besides, I know for a fact you don't even know what "fuck" is!
[she walks off]
Beverly, Age 9: They're so different from us...
Elliot, Age 9: Yeah. You ask her.
Beverly, Age 9: Raffaella, will you have sex with us in our bathtub? It's an experiment.
Raffaella: Are you kidding? Fuck off, you freaks! I'm telling my father you talk dirty. Besides, I know for a fact you don't even know what "fuck" is!
[she walks off]
Beverly, Age 9: They're so different from us...
