Dazed and Confused Quotes
The adventures of incoming high school and junior high students on the last day of school, in May of 1976.
Wooderson: Man, it's the same bullshit they tried to pull in my day. If it ain't that piece of paper, there's some other choice they're gonna try and make for you. You gotta do what Randall Pink Floyd wants to do man. Let me tell you this, the older you do get the more rules they're gonna try to get you to follow. You just gotta keep livin' man, L-I-V-I-N.
Dawson: Well, all I'm saying is that I want to look back and say that I did I the best I could while I was stuck in this place. Had as much fun as I could while I was stuck in this place. Played as hard as I could while I was stuck in this place... Dogged as many girls as I could while I was stuck in this place.
Freshman Girl: Will you marry me?
Dawson: I don't know. What's in it for me?
Freshman Girl: Anything you want?
Dawson: Anything?
Freshman Girl: Anything.
Dawson: [opening his mouth wide] Go like this. Do you spit or swallow?
Freshman Girl: Whatever you like.
Dawson: Whatever I like? I would definitely marry you.
Dawson: I don't know. What's in it for me?
Freshman Girl: Anything you want?
Dawson: Anything?
Freshman Girl: Anything.
Dawson: [opening his mouth wide] Go like this. Do you spit or swallow?
Freshman Girl: Whatever you like.
Dawson: Whatever I like? I would definitely marry you.
Dawson: You know that Julie chick? Loves you. You want her? Gotta play it cool, you know. You can't let her know how much you like ?cause if she knows, she'll dump you like that. Believe me. Like, if she asks you if you want a ride, you say, "No, I've got my own ride, but maybe I'll see you later." Sounds stupid, doesn't it? It works.
Slater: This place used to be off limits, man, 'cause some drunk freshman fell off. He went right down the middle, smacking his head on every beam, man. I hear it doesn't hurt after the first couple though. Autopsy said he had one beer, how many did you have?
Mitch: Four.
Slater: You're dead, man, you're so dead. Look at the blood stains right there.
Mitch: Four.
Slater: You're dead, man, you're so dead. Look at the blood stains right there.
Dawson: Not bad for a little freshman but you gotta watch out for older girls
Melvin Spivey: Hey. Come here. We just wanna know something. You gonna be fucking that tonight, or are you gonna be a little wimp?
Mitch: [laughs] How do you know I haven't already
Melvin Spivey: [clearly pleased, laughs] Go along man, I think its past your bedtime!
Melvin Spivey: Hey. Come here. We just wanna know something. You gonna be fucking that tonight, or are you gonna be a little wimp?
Mitch: [laughs] How do you know I haven't already
Melvin Spivey: [clearly pleased, laughs] Go along man, I think its past your bedtime!
Clint: What did you just say?
Mike: What?
Clint: Just now, man. When you walked past, what'd you say?
Mike: About what?
Clint: You said, "Someone's tokin' some reefer."
Mike: No, I meant somewhere I smell some pot, you know? It was just an observation.
Clint: Oh, an observation, huh? Well who the hell are you, man? Isaac fucking Newton?
Mike: What?
Clint: Just now, man. When you walked past, what'd you say?
Mike: About what?
Clint: You said, "Someone's tokin' some reefer."
Mike: No, I meant somewhere I smell some pot, you know? It was just an observation.
Clint: Oh, an observation, huh? Well who the hell are you, man? Isaac fucking Newton?
Cynthia: God, don't you ever feel like everything we do and everything we've been taught is just to service the future?
Tony: Yeah I know, like it's all preparation.
Cynthia: Right. But what are we preparing ourselves for?
Mike: Death.
Tony: Life of the party.
Mike: It's true.
Cynthia: You know, but that's valid because if we are all gonna die anyway shouldn't we be enjoying ourselves now? You know, I'd like to quit thinking of the present, like right now, as some minor insignificant preamble to something else.
Tony: Yeah I know, like it's all preparation.
Cynthia: Right. But what are we preparing ourselves for?
Mike: Death.
Tony: Life of the party.
Mike: It's true.
Cynthia: You know, but that's valid because if we are all gonna die anyway shouldn't we be enjoying ourselves now? You know, I'd like to quit thinking of the present, like right now, as some minor insignificant preamble to something else.
Jodi: Is that a beer in your hand?
Mitch: Why, yes it is.
Jodi: Have you had more than one of those?
Mitch: Few. No one's counting.
Jodi: When were you supposed to be home?
Mitch: Few hours ago I think.
Jodi: Thats bullshit. That's major bullshit. You know I was barely let out at your age?
Mitch: Aww.
Jodi: Aww. Well don't think she won't be waiting up for you. And she is tough. I've been through it.
Mitch: Just don't ask her to take it easy on me.
Mitch: Why, yes it is.
Jodi: Have you had more than one of those?
Mitch: Few. No one's counting.
Jodi: When were you supposed to be home?
Mitch: Few hours ago I think.
Jodi: Thats bullshit. That's major bullshit. You know I was barely let out at your age?
Mitch: Aww.
Jodi: Aww. Well don't think she won't be waiting up for you. And she is tough. I've been through it.
Mitch: Just don't ask her to take it easy on me.
Jodi: Hey, I got a favour to ask you guys. You know my little brother?
Benny O'Donnell: Yeah, Mitch Kramer
Jodi: Ya, Mitch Kramer. Well, take it easy on him this summer will ya?
Pink: Don't worry sis, little brother's safe with us.
Jodi: Well just don't get him worse than the other guys. He's kinda little.
[walks off]
Benny O'Donnell: Ok. I promise.
[Jodi walks off]
Dawson: There was just a little bit of bullshit in all that right?
Benny O'Donnell: Major bullshit. He's a dead man.
Benny O'Donnell: Yeah, Mitch Kramer
Jodi: Ya, Mitch Kramer. Well, take it easy on him this summer will ya?
Pink: Don't worry sis, little brother's safe with us.
Jodi: Well just don't get him worse than the other guys. He's kinda little.
[walks off]
Benny O'Donnell: Ok. I promise.
[Jodi walks off]
Dawson: There was just a little bit of bullshit in all that right?
Benny O'Donnell: Major bullshit. He's a dead man.
Jodi: Heard they got you pretty bad.
Mitch: Yeah.
Jodi: They just got Hersh too
Mitch: Was it bad?
Sabrina Davis: Yeah.
Mitch: Was it O'Bannion?
Sabrina Davis: I think so
Mitch: Man I hate that jerk!
Sabrina Davis: Hey I didn't know Jodi was you're big sister
Mitch: Oh, yeah
Jodi: Hey, I hear my name over here? You guys talking about me? Mitch, I heard they got you pretty bad. Those guys... you know I asked them to take it easy on you?
Mitch: What? Well no wonder!
Mitch: Yeah.
Jodi: They just got Hersh too
Mitch: Was it bad?
Sabrina Davis: Yeah.
Mitch: Was it O'Bannion?
Sabrina Davis: I think so
Mitch: Man I hate that jerk!
Sabrina Davis: Hey I didn't know Jodi was you're big sister
Mitch: Oh, yeah
Jodi: Hey, I hear my name over here? You guys talking about me? Mitch, I heard they got you pretty bad. Those guys... you know I asked them to take it easy on you?
Mitch: What? Well no wonder!
Darla: We know you they talk about us, what do they say?
Shavonne Wright: No they don't
Darla: You're lying you bitch. When you do that I know you're lying
Simone: Come on you can tell us.
Shavonne Wright: Don't get mad
Simone: I'm not gonna get mad I'm just curious
Shavonne Wright: Ok she called you a bitch and you a slut
[laughs]
Darla: She called me a bitch! Thats funny! What a riot
Simone: She called me a slut? Ohmygod what a bitch
Shavonne Wright: Yeah she called you a slut
[laughing]
Simone: What a bitch she called me a slut. I'm gonna kick her ass
Darla: You said you wouldn't get mad
Simone: I'm not mad!
Shavonne Wright: No they don't
Darla: You're lying you bitch. When you do that I know you're lying
Simone: Come on you can tell us.
Shavonne Wright: Don't get mad
Simone: I'm not gonna get mad I'm just curious
Shavonne Wright: Ok she called you a bitch and you a slut
[laughs]
Darla: She called me a bitch! Thats funny! What a riot
Simone: She called me a slut? Ohmygod what a bitch
Shavonne Wright: Yeah she called you a slut
[laughing]
Simone: What a bitch she called me a slut. I'm gonna kick her ass
Darla: You said you wouldn't get mad
Simone: I'm not mad!
Assistant Coach: Hey ladies, are you gonna be ready to play football this fall? huh?
Benny O'Donnell: I don't know coach, I've been doin' so well in english I thought I might work on bein' a writer. What do ya think about that?
Assistant Coach: Boy, you woudln't know how to spell your own name if it wasn't stencilled on your locker.
Benny O'Donnell: I don't know coach, I've been doin' so well in english I thought I might work on bein' a writer. What do ya think about that?
Assistant Coach: Boy, you woudln't know how to spell your own name if it wasn't stencilled on your locker.
Mitch: [after seniors threaten him] Er, Mr. Payne. Sir. You know every second that you could let us out early would really increase our chances of survival.
Mr. Payne, junior high school teacher: It's like our sergeant told us before one trip into the jungle.
[shouts]
Mr. Payne, junior high school teacher: Men!
[the boys jump]
Mr. Payne, junior high school teacher: Fifty of you are leaving on a mission. Twenty-five of you ain't coming back.
Mitch: Okay.
Mr. Payne, junior high school teacher: It's like our sergeant told us before one trip into the jungle.
[shouts]
Mr. Payne, junior high school teacher: Men!
[the boys jump]
Mr. Payne, junior high school teacher: Fifty of you are leaving on a mission. Twenty-five of you ain't coming back.
Mitch: Okay.
Shavonne Wright: What the hell are you talking about girl?
Kaye Faulkner: Didn't even think about it did you?
Shavonne Wright: Gilligan's Island?
Kaye Faulkner: It's what called a male pornographic fantasy.
Shavonne Wright: [laughs] Oh my haha
Kaye Faulkner: Think about it! You're basically alone on a deserted island with 2 readily available women. One, a seductive sex goddess type. The other... a healthy girl-next-door-type with a nice butt. So the men have it all, the Madonna and the whore. Women get nothing! We get a geek, an overweight middle-age guy, and a nerdy scientific type.
Jodi: [interrupts] The professor... is sexy.
Kaye Faulkner: Didn't even think about it did you?
Shavonne Wright: Gilligan's Island?
Kaye Faulkner: It's what called a male pornographic fantasy.
Shavonne Wright: [laughs] Oh my haha
Kaye Faulkner: Think about it! You're basically alone on a deserted island with 2 readily available women. One, a seductive sex goddess type. The other... a healthy girl-next-door-type with a nice butt. So the men have it all, the Madonna and the whore. Women get nothing! We get a geek, an overweight middle-age guy, and a nerdy scientific type.
Jodi: [interrupts] The professor... is sexy.
Dawson: There's Shavonne. I think she might still be mad at me Watch me get something going here.
[the girls show up]
Dawson: Hey, what's going on?
Shavonne: Hey, not much. How about you?
Slater: Oh, a little weed, you know. There may be a beer bust later on.
Shavonne: Oh really? Cool, so I guess we'll see ya there?
Slater: All right, check ya later!
[the girls leave]
Dawson: Slate man, why are you always such a dork man?
Slater: What are you talking about man?
Dawson: Check ya later! Check ya later!
Slater: Hey man, get off my case man.
[the girls show up]
Dawson: Hey, what's going on?
Shavonne: Hey, not much. How about you?
Slater: Oh, a little weed, you know. There may be a beer bust later on.
Shavonne: Oh really? Cool, so I guess we'll see ya there?
Slater: All right, check ya later!
[the girls leave]
Dawson: Slate man, why are you always such a dork man?
Slater: What are you talking about man?
Dawson: Check ya later! Check ya later!
Slater: Hey man, get off my case man.
Tony: [describing his dream] So there I am, getting it on with this perfect female body and...
Mike: What?
Tony: I can't say.
Mike: No, you can't give a build-up like that and not deliver. You know, a perfect female body, it's not a bad start.
Tony: But with the head of Abraham Lincoln. With the hat and the beard, everything.
Mike: What?
Tony: I can't say.
Mike: No, you can't give a build-up like that and not deliver. You know, a perfect female body, it's not a bad start.
Tony: But with the head of Abraham Lincoln. With the hat and the beard, everything.
Tony: [to Sabrina about the hazing] We were just discussing the utter stupidity of these initiation rituals, and we were wondering how someone such as you would subject themselves to the losing end of it all.
Jodi: What are we, having social hour over here? You're supposed to be being a bitch.
Mike: [after Jodi takes Sabrina away] Am I mistaken or was there some unspoken thing between you and that young vixen... you stud.
Tony: Well you know how it is.
Mike: Yeah, I bet she's pretty cute once you clean all the shit off her.
Tony: Yeah I bet she is.
Jodi: What are we, having social hour over here? You're supposed to be being a bitch.
Mike: [after Jodi takes Sabrina away] Am I mistaken or was there some unspoken thing between you and that young vixen... you stud.
Tony: Well you know how it is.
Mike: Yeah, I bet she's pretty cute once you clean all the shit off her.
Tony: Yeah I bet she is.
Pink: They're really doing this
Dawson: Yeah, they want it back by the end of the day too. Can you believe it?
Pink: And everybody's signing it?
Dawson: Just to get the coaches off our backs, they're being fucking assholes. That's why you sign it and never think about it again. Just ket it go.
Pink: [looks pissed and crumples it]
Dawson: You're gonna make a big deal outta this aren't you?
Dawson: Yeah, they want it back by the end of the day too. Can you believe it?
Pink: And everybody's signing it?
Dawson: Just to get the coaches off our backs, they're being fucking assholes. That's why you sign it and never think about it again. Just ket it go.
Pink: [looks pissed and crumples it]
Dawson: You're gonna make a big deal outta this aren't you?
