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Will Ferrell stars as The Man in the Yellow Hat, a gentleman who looks after his pet monkey - an inquisitive and wonderful creature whose enthusiasm often gets the best of him.
Ted: Okay, his name is... [sees George Washington statue] Ted: Washington! His name's Washington. Kid 3: That's a dumb name! Ted: Okay, then call him George! Are you happy?
Clovis: That's a lot of yellow for one man. Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: I thought you were color-blind. Clovis: I can see that!
Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: You don't give a monkey a latte!
Cab Driver: Where you headed, Yellow? Ted: Bloomsberry Museum, and I'll give you an extra ten if you don't call me "yellow", Okay? Cab Driver: Sure thing, Sunshine.
Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: And you! Hiring a monkey to paint your apartment. How can you sleep nights?
Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: The real way to learn anything is to go out and experience it and let your curiousity lead you.
Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: What's the difference between Neanderthal man and Cro-Magnon man? Linguistic competence and polychromatic cave paintings.
Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: The world doesn't need another parking lot. It needs a place where kid's minds can grow. Junior Bloomsberry: Exactly, so I was thinking they can grow by counting all the spaces on the parking lot. Come on, how fun is that?
Animal Control Receptionist: Animal Control Hotline. How can we help you? Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: I need you to come to the Bloomsbury Institute right away. There's a very dangerous monkey. Animal Control Receptionist: Can you describe dangerous, sir? Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: Well, he's frothing at the mouth, has teeth like Ginzu knives, and-and crazy eyes. He's a killer! Listen to this [makes monkey noises] Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: Hey, put down that child! Oh, the horror!
Dockworker #1: Hey, it's a monkey with a hat! Dockworker #2: I'll just go ahead and put that under miscellaneous.
Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: Aah, my knee! Ow, there's the forehead! Oh, knee-forehead combo!
Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: His magnificent idol looks like it came out of a cereal box! Junior Bloomsberry: Wow. That must be a huge box of cereal.
Miss Plushbottom: [singing] You are fired! Painter #1: She fired us in song. Painter #2: But it still hurt.
Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: George is gone. It's all my fault. Miss Maggie Dunlop: You're right. Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: Huh? Miss Maggie Dunlop: Ted, do you want to hear what you want to hear, or what you should hear? Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: Uh... Could you run that by me again? Miss Maggie Dunlop: Do you want to hear the truth which you should hear and I'll tell you, and not just what you think you want to hear? The truth is that George is gone and it is you're fault. Now the question is, what are you going to do about it?
Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: You know, the word Zagawa means enlightenment? Edu: Of course I know. I live here!
Clovis: [seeing the three-inch idol] Ted, I'm not one to judge but hasn't its size been exaggerated just a wee bit?
Seen It Cab Driver: Oh, yeah. 40-foot monkey causing unintentional widespread panic? Seen it.
Cab Driver: There's no screaming in cabs!
Mr. Bloomsberry: I knew you wouldn't let me down. Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: I have to admit I came pretty close. Mr. Bloomsberry: Oh no, I'm so proud of you. You're like the son I never had. Junior Bloomsberry: Father, I'm you're son. Remember? Mr. Bloomsberry: Well, yes. But I had you.
Ivan: [with a thick Russian accent] If I find pet, you are evicted. Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: E-what-ed? Ivan: [enunciating] E-vic-ted
Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: Who leaves eight open cans of paint lying around?
Junior Bloomsberry: [after falling] Oh, my body. Hey, a dollar!
Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: Junior was right. There is a parking problem in the city!
Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: What am I doing? This isn't a movie, it's real!
Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: Hey, there are lines painted on the street for a reason! [loud honking] Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: Oh, yeah? Well, that is physically impossible for me to do! So there!
Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: Can I have my hat please? I kinda need my hat. The sun is hot, and I freckle, and not the good way, either. I blotch.
Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: Anyone can memorize facts and figures, the key is to just venture into the unknown let your curiosity take hold.
Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: It is the same hat! And the same monkey! You followed me all the way from Africa? To Play peekaboo?
Seen It Cab Driver: Now THAT, I haven't seen. [pause] Seen It Cab Driver: Okay, now I've seen it. [leaves]
Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: Shake that tree all you want. You won't find any bananas up there. But if you find a 40-foot idol, let me know.
Junior Bloomsberry: I'm sorry, the lost...? You lost me at the lost.