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CSI Head Detective Mac Taylor and his team solve crimes in New York City.
Det. Stella Bonasera: That's it? No butler? Det. Don Flack: No. Det. Stella Bonasera: Too bad. I thought we could wrap this one up quick. Det. Don Flack: What? Det. Stella Bonasera: Mansion like this, it's always the butler. Didn't you ever play Clue? Det. Don Flack: I was a Monopoly guy.
[to a suspect] Det. Don Flack: You don't call, you don't write... I was starting to think you are seeing other detective.
[repeated line] Danny Messer: Boom!
Detective Thacker: [going over a victim's rap sheet] ... and one prior for assaulting a cab driver. Danny Messer: That's still a crime in New York?
[Danny holds up a fingerprint sample, stares at it through the light of a torch] Det. Stella Bonasera: You are gonna do more than just stare at it. Danny Messer: I am waiting for it to talk to me. Det. Stella Bonasera: Then you might have to buy it a drink first.
[Aiden tries to pick the pocket of a training dummy without ringing the bell, but she can't] Danny Messer: You're such a girl. Aiden Burn: [smacking him in the head] Shut up.
Det. Stella Bonasera: Can't sleep? Det. Mac Taylor: What's sleep?
Det. Stella Bonasera: [after finding out that a mattress that they know a girl died on has no bloodstains on it] What do you do when you can't get to sleep? Det. Mac Taylor: Work. Det. Stella Bonasera: What do *normal* people do when they can't get to sleep?
Danny Messer: [looking at evidence from a murder case] I can't wrap my head around it, Mac. You get up, you go to work, see the people that you know, you talk, you laugh. You're living your life, then suddenly, boom. It's just over. Just like that, and you never even saw it coming.
[Danny is reading 'Trendy Magazine'. Stella enters] Det. Stella Bonasera: If you wanted beauty tips, all you had to do was ask. Danny Messer: Do you know that waterproof mascara dries out your lashes? That's amazing.
Danny Messer: There's one thing I hate more than running... leaping.
[Danny and Stella enter a sushi restaurant in which the food is served on nude women] Det. Stella Bonasera: Oh, that can't be sanitary. Danny Messer: Who cares if it's sanitary. I want to see the menu.
Danny Messer: You take the bottom; I'll take the top. Aiden Burn: I like being on top.
[repeated line] Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: [after making an interesting discovery about a case] I do love being in the field.
Dr. Sheldon Hawkes: [holding a severed finger] Apart from the fact of it not being attached to a person, there's nothing wrong with this finger.
[Danny puts a wet PDA in a toaster oven to dry it out] Det. Stella Bonasera: Mmm... something smells good.
Danny Messer: The first thing I learned on this job is anybody can do anything to anybody.
Det. Mac Taylor: I'm just trying to figure out how big a mistake you made.
Det. Mac Taylor: Use your head, Stella, not your heart.
Det. Don Flack: I could go on, but I've already read "War and Peace".
Danny Messer: How many people out there put so much bling on a bug?
Det. Mac Taylor: [about mosquitoes] Only the female of the species bites. Det. Stella Bonasera: Good for her!
