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Australian Outback adventurer Mick "Crocodile" Dundee travels to Los Angeles with his young son while his longtime companion suspects foul play at a movie studio.
Mick "Crocodile" Dundee: Couldn't you just buy the actual paintings? Phil: Maybe for a big motion picture like Mission Impossible 3. But I haven't seen Tom Cruise around the set, have you? Mick "Crocodile" Dundee: [thinking] Tom Cruise... what's he look like? Phil: [confused] Like Tom Cruise...... Geez Mick, where you born in a cave? Mick "Crocodile" Dundee: Yeah! How'd you know that? Phil: Never mind.
[Driving into Wendy's Drive-Thru] Mick "Crocodile" Dundee: Now, you pick out what you want on that menu there. Then you yell it out into that box. Then in 2 minutes, you're scoffing it down, without even getting out of the car. Jacko: So, you can eat like a pig... and nobody can see you. [winks] Jacko: Clever buggers, these yanks.
The Wendy's Girl: Welcome to Wendy's. How may I help you? Mick "Crocodile" Dundee: Good evening, Wendy!
Mick "Crocodile" Dundee: [just before leaving curator's office, he notices a painting] Who painted this? Curator: Pablo Picasso. Mick "Crocodile" Dundee: I'm a drinkin' man myself, but I've never been *that* wasted.
[After foiling some gangsters who try to mug them] Mick "Crocodile" Dundee: Now I know why they call L.A. 'The city on wheels'. Jacko: Why's that? Mick "Crocodile" Dundee: Well they don't even get out of there car to mug ya.
Sue Charleton: So did he behave? Mick "Crocodile" Dundee: Oh, yeah he was no trouble. Sue Charleton: Not you. I was talking to Mikey!
Miss Mathis: Your son says that you're a hunter, and that you hunt and kill crocodiles. Mick "Crocodile" Dundee: Aw, geez he should know better than that, Crocodiles are protected. I don't kill them, I catch them alive. Miss Mathis: [amazed] Oh! Mick "Crocodile" Dundee: Don't you worry. There'll be no more fibs.