Congo Quotes
When an expedition to the African Congo ends in disaster, a new team is assembled to find out what went wrong.
Captain Wanta: [Homolka is eating a cake] Mr Homolka?
Herkermer Homolka: Yes?
Captain Wanta: Stop eating my sesame cake.
[Homolka pauses in confusion]
Captain Wanta: [shouting angrily] STOP EATING MY SESAME CAKE!
[Homolka spits out the cake]
Captain Wanta: What are you doing in my country, bag of shit?
Herkermer Homolka: Captain, please, I only wish to explore and discover...
Captain Wanta: This fellow
Captain Wanta: [pokes Homolka's face with a stick] is a big. Bag. Of. Shit.
Captain Wanta: [to Monroe] You should shake this RAT from off your neck. He owes money to everyone everywhere he goes. I will ask you to wait outside Mr. Homolka!
Herkermer Homolka: Yes?
Captain Wanta: Stop eating my sesame cake.
[Homolka pauses in confusion]
Captain Wanta: [shouting angrily] STOP EATING MY SESAME CAKE!
[Homolka spits out the cake]
Captain Wanta: What are you doing in my country, bag of shit?
Herkermer Homolka: Captain, please, I only wish to explore and discover...
Captain Wanta: This fellow
Captain Wanta: [pokes Homolka's face with a stick] is a big. Bag. Of. Shit.
Captain Wanta: [to Monroe] You should shake this RAT from off your neck. He owes money to everyone everywhere he goes. I will ask you to wait outside Mr. Homolka!
Dr. Peter Elliot: Excuse me, we already hired a guide: Robertson...
Eddie Ventro: Robertson Reynolds, yeah, I fired him.
Dr. Peter Elliot: You what?
Eddie Ventro: Robertson Reynolds is a bird-watcher.
Dr. Peter Elliot: I hired Robertson Reynolds!
Eddie Ventro: You would! You have any idea what's going on in the Congo as of the radio show this morning? The Kigani have had it with Zaire, AND they're eating people. You go in there with Robertson Reynolds, you'll be coming out somebody's bowel movement.
Eddie Ventro: Robertson Reynolds, yeah, I fired him.
Dr. Peter Elliot: You what?
Eddie Ventro: Robertson Reynolds is a bird-watcher.
Dr. Peter Elliot: I hired Robertson Reynolds!
Eddie Ventro: You would! You have any idea what's going on in the Congo as of the radio show this morning? The Kigani have had it with Zaire, AND they're eating people. You go in there with Robertson Reynolds, you'll be coming out somebody's bowel movement.
Richard: So, what was your name again?
Claude: Claude.
Richard: Oh. Well, that's a very odd name for someone from... uh... where are you from again?
Claude: Mbasa.
Richard: Yeah, that's a very odd name for someone from Mbasa.
Claude: Have you ever been to Mbasa?
Richard: Um, no.
Claude: Then what do you know about it?
Claude: Claude.
Richard: Oh. Well, that's a very odd name for someone from... uh... where are you from again?
Claude: Mbasa.
Richard: Yeah, that's a very odd name for someone from Mbasa.
Claude: Have you ever been to Mbasa?
Richard: Um, no.
Claude: Then what do you know about it?
Monroe: So why'd you quit the CIA?
Dr. Karen Ross: I never worked for the CIA.
Monroe: Of course you didn't. But if you HAD worked for the CIA, why would you quit?
Dr. Karen Ross: 'Cause they're a loveless bunch of sons of bitches.
Monroe: And you're not?
Dr. Karen Ross: And I'm not.
Monroe: Glad to hear it.
Dr. Karen Ross: I never worked for the CIA.
Monroe: Of course you didn't. But if you HAD worked for the CIA, why would you quit?
Dr. Karen Ross: 'Cause they're a loveless bunch of sons of bitches.
Monroe: And you're not?
Dr. Karen Ross: And I'm not.
Monroe: Glad to hear it.
[Hormolka is poised in the doorway of a crippled DC-3, unable to jump]
Herkermer Homolka: Push me, please.
[Samahani shoves him with both hands, but he still doesn't move]
Herkermer Homolka: Harder, please.
[Samahani laughs, gets behind Hormolka, grabs an overhead rail and kicks him out with both feet]
Herkermer Homolka: Push me, please.
[Samahani shoves him with both hands, but he still doesn't move]
Herkermer Homolka: Harder, please.
[Samahani laughs, gets behind Hormolka, grabs an overhead rail and kicks him out with both feet]
[first lines]
Rudy, TraviCom Security: [over PA system] Doctor Ross. Doctor Ross. We've got satellite in the Congo.
Dr. Karen Ross: What did they say, Rudy?
Rudy, TraviCom Security: I can't repeat anything in here.
Dr. Karen Ross: It's Charles.
Rudy, TraviCom Security: It's Charles.
Rudy, TraviCom Security: [trying her access card] It won't work.
Dr. Karen Ross: You changed the code already?
Rudy, TraviCom Security: The old man's got me changing it every 3 hours now.
[imitating Cary Grant for voice print]
Rudy, TraviCom Security: Rudy, Rudy, Rudy, Rudy.
Dr. Karen Ross: Very inventive!
Rudy, TraviCom Security: [over PA system] Doctor Ross. Doctor Ross. We've got satellite in the Congo.
Dr. Karen Ross: What did they say, Rudy?
Rudy, TraviCom Security: I can't repeat anything in here.
Dr. Karen Ross: It's Charles.
Rudy, TraviCom Security: It's Charles.
Rudy, TraviCom Security: [trying her access card] It won't work.
Dr. Karen Ross: You changed the code already?
Rudy, TraviCom Security: The old man's got me changing it every 3 hours now.
[imitating Cary Grant for voice print]
Rudy, TraviCom Security: Rudy, Rudy, Rudy, Rudy.
Dr. Karen Ross: Very inventive!
Eddie: [to Karen Ross] Mr. Travis asked me to meet you at the airport, set up your expedition.
Dr. Peter Elliot: HER expedition? She's just along for the ride!
Eddie: Whatever, be an asshole.
Dr. Peter Elliot: Who is this guy?
Eddie: Eddie Ventro, transportation and equipment. But I don't supply assholes with new personalities.
Dr. Peter Elliot: HER expedition? She's just along for the ride!
Eddie: Whatever, be an asshole.
Dr. Peter Elliot: Who is this guy?
Eddie: Eddie Ventro, transportation and equipment. But I don't supply assholes with new personalities.
Monroe: And this is your cover?
Dr. Karen Ross: Yes
Dr. Peter Elliot: I'm nobody's cover. Cover for what?
Monroe: ...find yourself in the middle of something.
Dr. Peter Elliot: Cover for what?
Monroe: I don't know and she won't tell you. But the kind of money her company's throwing around... they don't spend that on any gorilla. Relax. You're in better hands than you *should* be.
Dr. Karen Ross: Yes
Dr. Peter Elliot: I'm nobody's cover. Cover for what?
Monroe: ...find yourself in the middle of something.
Dr. Peter Elliot: Cover for what?
Monroe: I don't know and she won't tell you. But the kind of money her company's throwing around... they don't spend that on any gorilla. Relax. You're in better hands than you *should* be.
Dr. Peter Elliot: [as everyone on the plane prepares to jump] Why are they putting on parachutes?
Dr. Karen Ross: Figure it out!
Dr. Peter Elliot: [the crew members begin jumping out of the plane. Monroe hands Peter a parachure] This isn't going to work!
Monroe: Oh, yes, it is. I'll take Amy.
Dr. Peter Elliot: She might get hurt. I can't risk it!
Monroe: Do you know how to fly this plane?
Dr. Peter Elliot: No.
Monroe: [nods toward the cockpit, where no one is at the controls] Well, the pilot and co-pilot are already gone, so what are you going to do?
Dr. Karen Ross: Figure it out!
Dr. Peter Elliot: [the crew members begin jumping out of the plane. Monroe hands Peter a parachure] This isn't going to work!
Monroe: Oh, yes, it is. I'll take Amy.
Dr. Peter Elliot: She might get hurt. I can't risk it!
Monroe: Do you know how to fly this plane?
Dr. Peter Elliot: No.
Monroe: [nods toward the cockpit, where no one is at the controls] Well, the pilot and co-pilot are already gone, so what are you going to do?
Monroe: That region of the Congo's uninhabited.
Dr. Karen Ross: Well, something inhabits it.
Dr. Peter Elliot: What exactly did you see on that tape?
Dr. Karen Ross: A camp destroyed. People dead. A grey gorilla...
Dr. Peter Elliot: There's no such thing as a grey gorilla.
Dr. Karen Ross: Well, I saw one.
Dr. Peter Elliot: It's hard to believe at this late date...
Monroe: Why are you going in there?
Dr. Karen Ross: Two men are unaccounted for: Geoffrey Weams, and Charles Travis, my fiance... My FORMER fiance.
Monroe: Your former?
Dr. Peter Elliot: Well, we better get to him then.
Dr. Karen Ross: Well, something inhabits it.
Dr. Peter Elliot: What exactly did you see on that tape?
Dr. Karen Ross: A camp destroyed. People dead. A grey gorilla...
Dr. Peter Elliot: There's no such thing as a grey gorilla.
Dr. Karen Ross: Well, I saw one.
Dr. Peter Elliot: It's hard to believe at this late date...
Monroe: Why are you going in there?
Dr. Karen Ross: Two men are unaccounted for: Geoffrey Weams, and Charles Travis, my fiance... My FORMER fiance.
Monroe: Your former?
Dr. Peter Elliot: Well, we better get to him then.
Dr. Karen Ross: Why teach an ape to talk?
Dr. Peter Elliot: "A lonely impulse of delight."
Dr. Karen Ross: William Butler Yates.
Dr. Peter Elliot: Very good.
Dr. Karen Ross: Did it work? You're not lonely anymore?
Dr. Peter Elliot: Why are *you* going to Africa?
Dr. Karen Ross: To find something I lost...
Dr. Peter Elliot: "A lonely impulse of delight."
Dr. Karen Ross: William Butler Yates.
Dr. Peter Elliot: Very good.
Dr. Karen Ross: Did it work? You're not lonely anymore?
Dr. Peter Elliot: Why are *you* going to Africa?
Dr. Karen Ross: To find something I lost...
Dr. Karen Ross: Are you sure there aren't some kind of gorillas that kill.
Dr. Peter Elliot: Please, Dr. Ross. What's your area of expertise? Folk-singing?
Dr. Karen Ross: [smugly] Communications technology.
Dr. Peter Elliot: So you're a geek with a cellular phone.
Dr. Karen Ross: I'm a scientist. But you and your protege, as far as I can see, belong in the circus.
[looks at Amy eating flowers]
Dr. Peter Elliot: Please, Dr. Ross. What's your area of expertise? Folk-singing?
Dr. Karen Ross: [smugly] Communications technology.
Dr. Peter Elliot: So you're a geek with a cellular phone.
Dr. Karen Ross: I'm a scientist. But you and your protege, as far as I can see, belong in the circus.
[looks at Amy eating flowers]
