Boy Meets World Quotes
Adolescent Cory Matthews grows up, and faces problems with friends, family, and school.
Cory: Mom, Listen, I haven't been together with Topanga for twenty-two years, but we *have* been together for sixteen. 'Kay, that's a lot longer than most couples have been together. I mean, when we were born, you told me that we used to take walks in our strollers together in the park. When we were two, we were best friends, I mean, I, I knew everything about this girl. I knew her favorite color. I knew her favorite food. Then we became six, you know, and Eric made fun of me because it wasn't cool to have a best friend that was a girl or even know a girl, so for the next seven years I threw dirt at her. I like to call those "the lost years". Then when I was thirteen, Mom, she put me up against my locker and she kissed me. I mean, she gave me my first kiss. She taught me how to dance. She was always talking about these crazy things and I never understood a word she said. All I understood was that she was the girl I sat up every night thinking about, and when I'm with her I feel happy to be alive. Like I can do anything. Even talk to you like this. So that's, that's what I feel is love, Mom... When I'm better because she's here... and now she won't be. So we're finished.
Shawn Hunter: [Cory and Shawn are discussing Cory and Topanga's recent breakup] Cory, Topanga went out with another guy last night. I'm really sorry, man.
Cory: So we're the only two people in the world who still have hope for Topanga and me, and you're throwing in the towel?
Shawn Hunter: [nods] Sorry, Cory.
Cory: All right.
[turns away]
Shawn Hunter: You okay?
Cory: Yeah, sure. It's a strange feeling, though.
Shawn Hunter: What, knowing that it's finally over between you and Topanga?
Cory: [turns back to face Shawn] No, being the only one who knows it's not.
Cory: So we're the only two people in the world who still have hope for Topanga and me, and you're throwing in the towel?
Shawn Hunter: [nods] Sorry, Cory.
Cory: All right.
[turns away]
Shawn Hunter: You okay?
Cory: Yeah, sure. It's a strange feeling, though.
Shawn Hunter: What, knowing that it's finally over between you and Topanga?
Cory: [turns back to face Shawn] No, being the only one who knows it's not.
Cory: You are going to learn something from life every day. And make mistakes. And you'll make good friends and Mr. Feeny will probably teach you every grade you're ever in. And maybe someday you'll fall in love with a woman as wonderful as Topanga. How would you like that?
Joshua Matthews: Yeah.
Cory: And be lucky enough to make a good friend as Shawn. How'd you like that?
Joshua Matthews: Good.
Cory: And when you're not a little boy anymore, when the world has taught you how to be a man... Then you'll still make mistakes. But your family, and all those good friends you've made along the way, will help you. And even though you'll think the world has gone out of it's way to teach you all the tough lessons, you'll realize that it's the same world that's given you your family and those friends, you you'll come to believe that no matter what happens, somehow the world will protect you, too. "Boy Meets World." Now I get it.
Joshua Matthews: Yeah.
Cory: And be lucky enough to make a good friend as Shawn. How'd you like that?
Joshua Matthews: Good.
Cory: And when you're not a little boy anymore, when the world has taught you how to be a man... Then you'll still make mistakes. But your family, and all those good friends you've made along the way, will help you. And even though you'll think the world has gone out of it's way to teach you all the tough lessons, you'll realize that it's the same world that's given you your family and those friends, you you'll come to believe that no matter what happens, somehow the world will protect you, too. "Boy Meets World." Now I get it.
Topanga: I wasn't sure this day would ever come, but you were. I wasn't sure love could survive everything we put it through, but you were. You were always strong and always sure. And now I know I want you to stand beside me for the rest of my life. That's what I'm sure of.
Cory: I have to talk to her now, OK.
[to Shawn]
Shawn Hunter: Go ahead.
Cory: Ever since I was young I never understood anything about the world, and I never understood anything that happened in my life. The only thing that ever made sense to me was you, and how I felt about you. That's all I've ever known and that's enough, that's enough for me, for the rest of my life. Topanga, we gonna get married?
Topanga: Yea, we are.
Cory: Good, cause, umm I have these rings... I love you, Topanga.
Topanga: I love you too, Cory.
Cory: I have to talk to her now, OK.
[to Shawn]
Shawn Hunter: Go ahead.
Cory: Ever since I was young I never understood anything about the world, and I never understood anything that happened in my life. The only thing that ever made sense to me was you, and how I felt about you. That's all I've ever known and that's enough, that's enough for me, for the rest of my life. Topanga, we gonna get married?
Topanga: Yea, we are.
Cory: Good, cause, umm I have these rings... I love you, Topanga.
Topanga: I love you too, Cory.
Morgan Matthews: Mommy, if my dolly's cold, can I put her in the toaster oven?
Amy Matthews: No, honey. That would be a mistake.
Morgan Matthews: Mommy?
Amy Matthews: Yes?
Morgan Matthews: I made a mistake.
Amy Matthews: [runs over to toaster oven and pulls out doll] Cory, didn't you smell that?
Cory: Yeah, I just thought we were having plastic for dinner.
Amy Matthews: No, honey. That would be a mistake.
Morgan Matthews: Mommy?
Amy Matthews: Yes?
Morgan Matthews: I made a mistake.
Amy Matthews: [runs over to toaster oven and pulls out doll] Cory, didn't you smell that?
Cory: Yeah, I just thought we were having plastic for dinner.
[John Turner is in a coma]
Shawn Hunter: John, how could you be in here? How could you screw up on your bike? I have never seen you screw up on anything. I'm the screw-up, remember? C'mon you remember... Don't do this to me, John. I don't do alone real good... I know you're in there but it's like you're not really here. You're not talking but I know you're here. So I'm just gonna talk, you can listen.
[pause]
Shawn Hunter: John, even when I was at the Centre, it was all the things you taught me that made me wonder if it was the right place for me or not. But you didn't teach me enough. You, and Cory, and my parents, and the Matthews and the handful of people who really care about me, so don't blow me off, John.
[Looks up]
Shawn Hunter: Don't blow me off, God. I never asked you for anything before and I never wanted to come to you like this, but don't take Turner away from me; he's not done yelling at me yet. God, you're not talking but I know you're here, so I'm gonna talk, and you can listen.
[pause]
Shawn Hunter: God, I don't wanna be empty inside any more.
Shawn Hunter: John, how could you be in here? How could you screw up on your bike? I have never seen you screw up on anything. I'm the screw-up, remember? C'mon you remember... Don't do this to me, John. I don't do alone real good... I know you're in there but it's like you're not really here. You're not talking but I know you're here. So I'm just gonna talk, you can listen.
[pause]
Shawn Hunter: John, even when I was at the Centre, it was all the things you taught me that made me wonder if it was the right place for me or not. But you didn't teach me enough. You, and Cory, and my parents, and the Matthews and the handful of people who really care about me, so don't blow me off, John.
[Looks up]
Shawn Hunter: Don't blow me off, God. I never asked you for anything before and I never wanted to come to you like this, but don't take Turner away from me; he's not done yelling at me yet. God, you're not talking but I know you're here, so I'm gonna talk, and you can listen.
[pause]
Shawn Hunter: God, I don't wanna be empty inside any more.
Topanga: Yeah, Shawn, you were wrong about Feeny and you're wrong about this.
Shawn Hunter: You were wrong to break up with Cory.
Topanga: What does that have to do with anything?
Shawn Hunter: Did any of this happen while you two were still together?
Topanga: No.
Shawn Hunter: You've killed us. You've killed us all.
Eric: Hey, hey. Now there's only two people horribly dead here, that's an acceptable loss.
Shawn Hunter: You were wrong to break up with Cory.
Topanga: What does that have to do with anything?
Shawn Hunter: Did any of this happen while you two were still together?
Topanga: No.
Shawn Hunter: You've killed us. You've killed us all.
Eric: Hey, hey. Now there's only two people horribly dead here, that's an acceptable loss.
Alan Matthews: Hey, son! How was your day?
Cory: Fine.
Alan Matthews: What'd you do in school?
Cory: Nothing
Alan Matthews: Hey, *hold on*! Wait there!
Alan Matthews: You know, everyday I ask you, "What did you do?" and everyday you tell me "Nothing." Well, I'm tired of nothing. I mean we both know something happened in school today and I want to know what it is!
Cory: I decided to be a girl.
Alan Matthews: Well, you taught me a very valuable lesson there, son.
Shawn Hunter: You know the book, "Black Like Me"?
Amy Matthews: Sure, is that what you guys are reading in school?
Alan Matthews: Don't ask questions, honey!
Cory: Fine.
Alan Matthews: What'd you do in school?
Cory: Nothing
Alan Matthews: Hey, *hold on*! Wait there!
Alan Matthews: You know, everyday I ask you, "What did you do?" and everyday you tell me "Nothing." Well, I'm tired of nothing. I mean we both know something happened in school today and I want to know what it is!
Cory: I decided to be a girl.
Alan Matthews: Well, you taught me a very valuable lesson there, son.
Shawn Hunter: You know the book, "Black Like Me"?
Amy Matthews: Sure, is that what you guys are reading in school?
Alan Matthews: Don't ask questions, honey!
Eric: See, duckies are good, cuz not only do they give you that non-threatening sense of security, but you can feed 'em crackers and you can ride 'em. See, duckies are the horsies of the ocean. No, I mean they are.
Cory: Okay, someone explain to me about duckies before I hit him with a spoon.
Amy Matthews: It's wallpaper.
Topanga: It's adorable.
Alan Matthews: It's for you room.
Eric: DUCKIES RULE.
Cory: Okay, someone explain to me about duckies before I hit him with a spoon.
Amy Matthews: It's wallpaper.
Topanga: It's adorable.
Alan Matthews: It's for you room.
Eric: DUCKIES RULE.
Jack: She got sick and said that chicken soup would help her feel better. I told her it probably would. Then I went bowling.
Eric: Guys, I've come to a conclusion: Men are idiots.
Eric, Cory, Alan, Shawn Hunter, Mr. George Feeny, Jack: What?
Eric: Wait! There's more! Men are big idiots.
Eric, Cory, Alan, Shawn Hunter, Mr. George Feeny, Jack: Hmm... yeah.
Eric: Guys, I've come to a conclusion: Men are idiots.
Eric, Cory, Alan, Shawn Hunter, Mr. George Feeny, Jack: What?
Eric: Wait! There's more! Men are big idiots.
Eric, Cory, Alan, Shawn Hunter, Mr. George Feeny, Jack: Hmm... yeah.
Mr. Turner: Hunter, Matthews, stand up!
Shawn: I didn't do it.
Mr. Turner: Uh huh. Anyway, Hunter, who's your best friend?
Shawn: Um... you are, sir!
Mr. Turner: Good answer. Matthews, who's your best friend?
Cory: Shawn is.
Mr. Turner: And what would you do to someone who messes with your best friend?
Cory: I'd kill him.
Mr. Turner: And on that note, I'd like to introduce you to your new teacher and my friend Mr. Williams. So if any of you mess with him, I'll kill you.
Shawn: I didn't do it.
Mr. Turner: Uh huh. Anyway, Hunter, who's your best friend?
Shawn: Um... you are, sir!
Mr. Turner: Good answer. Matthews, who's your best friend?
Cory: Shawn is.
Mr. Turner: And what would you do to someone who messes with your best friend?
Cory: I'd kill him.
Mr. Turner: And on that note, I'd like to introduce you to your new teacher and my friend Mr. Williams. So if any of you mess with him, I'll kill you.
[Cory is hitch-hiking and an Amish man approaches in a carriage]
Amish Man: Hello, young man. Are you in need of a ride? I'm going to that farmhouse there.
[he points]
Cory: That farmhouse there?
[points]
Amish Man: That farmhouse there.
[pointing]
Cory: Well, I'm going to Philadelphia.
Amish Man: Well, I can take you as far as that farmhouse there.
[points]
Cory: Yes, but, you see, I'm going to Philadelphia, so that really does me no good.
Amish Man: That may be, but, my will is just and my heart is pure.
[drives off]
Cory: ...Which also does me no good.
Amish Man: Hello, young man. Are you in need of a ride? I'm going to that farmhouse there.
[he points]
Cory: That farmhouse there?
[points]
Amish Man: That farmhouse there.
[pointing]
Cory: Well, I'm going to Philadelphia.
Amish Man: Well, I can take you as far as that farmhouse there.
[points]
Cory: Yes, but, you see, I'm going to Philadelphia, so that really does me no good.
Amish Man: That may be, but, my will is just and my heart is pure.
[drives off]
Cory: ...Which also does me no good.
Cory: Mr. Feeny, under my desk is a key. It opens locker 703 in a Florida station. In there is all my homework from the past 5 years. I'm actually a wonderful student. I listen and I know everything.
Mr. George Feeny: What's the capital of Montana?
[pause]
Cory: You're not going to Florida, are you?
Mr. George Feeny: What's the capital of Montana?
[pause]
Cory: You're not going to Florida, are you?
[Eric and Topanga have gone on a diet together, but are keeping it a secret; Cory thinks the reason Topanga is acting differently is that she's pregnant]
Eric: [to Topanga] Look, in a few months, everything's gonna be back to normal, okay?
Cory: All right, Eric. What's going on?
Eric: Hey, Cor. You smell like chicken.
Cory: Don't change the subject. I know Topanga confided in you. What did she tell you?
Eric: She told me that she's in trouble and it's all your fault. Your waffles and butter did this to her.
Cory: Why would Topanga confide in you instead of her own husband?
Eric: Because she knew how you'd react.
Cory: You mean like this?
[screams]
Cory: My life is over!
[back to normal voice]
Cory: Like that?
Eric: That's why she came to me, okay? People like us have similar appetites, that's how we get into situations like this.
Cory: You've been in this situation before?
Eric: Yeah, on and off since high school.
Cory: Do Mom and Dad know?
Eric: Yeah, Mom and Dad know. Dad actually thinks it's kinda funny.
[laughs]
Cory: Oh, no, Eric. There is nothing funny about this. Every day she gets bigger, my life gets a little more complicated.
Eric: Your life? Is that all you can think about? What about Topanga, huh? What is she supposed to do? Her body's out of control and she has nowhere to turn! Look, if you can't be supportive then the best possible thing for you to do is just stay away from her. Just stay away from her!
Cory: [hysterical] I don't know what I should do!
[both run away, in opposite directions]
Eric: [to Topanga] Look, in a few months, everything's gonna be back to normal, okay?
Cory: All right, Eric. What's going on?
Eric: Hey, Cor. You smell like chicken.
Cory: Don't change the subject. I know Topanga confided in you. What did she tell you?
Eric: She told me that she's in trouble and it's all your fault. Your waffles and butter did this to her.
Cory: Why would Topanga confide in you instead of her own husband?
Eric: Because she knew how you'd react.
Cory: You mean like this?
[screams]
Cory: My life is over!
[back to normal voice]
Cory: Like that?
Eric: That's why she came to me, okay? People like us have similar appetites, that's how we get into situations like this.
Cory: You've been in this situation before?
Eric: Yeah, on and off since high school.
Cory: Do Mom and Dad know?
Eric: Yeah, Mom and Dad know. Dad actually thinks it's kinda funny.
[laughs]
Cory: Oh, no, Eric. There is nothing funny about this. Every day she gets bigger, my life gets a little more complicated.
Eric: Your life? Is that all you can think about? What about Topanga, huh? What is she supposed to do? Her body's out of control and she has nowhere to turn! Look, if you can't be supportive then the best possible thing for you to do is just stay away from her. Just stay away from her!
Cory: [hysterical] I don't know what I should do!
[both run away, in opposite directions]
Harley: Didn't I tell Frankie to dispose of you two?
Cory: Yeah, and he did. He killed us. Big time.
Shawn: And now we're the angels of ourselves.
Cory: And now it's time for us to float away.
Shawn: Float.
Harley: Have either one of you angels seen my girl.
Cory: You mean Gloria?
Shawn: No, we haven't seen her.
Cory: There's no reason for us to have seen her.
Shawn: We were in the locker the WHOLE time.
Harley: The whole time WHAT, boys?
Cory: Come on, Shawn. Float.
Cory: Yeah, and he did. He killed us. Big time.
Shawn: And now we're the angels of ourselves.
Cory: And now it's time for us to float away.
Shawn: Float.
Harley: Have either one of you angels seen my girl.
Cory: You mean Gloria?
Shawn: No, we haven't seen her.
Cory: There's no reason for us to have seen her.
Shawn: We were in the locker the WHOLE time.
Harley: The whole time WHAT, boys?
Cory: Come on, Shawn. Float.
Mr. George Feeny: Mr Matthews, what was I just talking aboout?
Cory: [stutters] Uhhh...
Mr. George Feeny: Ok, Mr. Hunter, what was I just talking about?
Shawn Hunter: President Roosevelt and the New Deal.
Mr. George Feeny: [clutches heart] O dear lord he's right.
Shawn Hunter: Hey Mr. Feeny, it's been my answer for two years. It had to pay off sometime!
Cory: [stutters] Uhhh...
Mr. George Feeny: Ok, Mr. Hunter, what was I just talking about?
Shawn Hunter: President Roosevelt and the New Deal.
Mr. George Feeny: [clutches heart] O dear lord he's right.
Shawn Hunter: Hey Mr. Feeny, it's been my answer for two years. It had to pay off sometime!
Miss Kelly: All right. The name of the place where the eggs are stored.
Cory: What are... the gonads?
Miss Kelly: No, sorry, I was looking for "What are the ovaries?"
Cory: Oh, the o... yeah, I always mix those two up.
Miss Kelly: Try not to; your future will be brighter. Can you tell us anything about ovulation or how pregnancy occurs?
Cory: Well, the man's got the sperm and the woman's got the egg. Now, once a month an egg slides down the "Phillippine tube" towards the uterus.
Cory: The first sperm to reach the egg wins. It gets a medal, it's born, ya name 'em "Cory", ya push 'em out the door, and nothing makes sense for the rest of his life.
Miss Kelly: Well, congratulations; you seem to have a thorough understanding of the life cycle.
Cory: Hey, I live it!
Cory: What are... the gonads?
Miss Kelly: No, sorry, I was looking for "What are the ovaries?"
Cory: Oh, the o... yeah, I always mix those two up.
Miss Kelly: Try not to; your future will be brighter. Can you tell us anything about ovulation or how pregnancy occurs?
Cory: Well, the man's got the sperm and the woman's got the egg. Now, once a month an egg slides down the "Phillippine tube" towards the uterus.
Cory: The first sperm to reach the egg wins. It gets a medal, it's born, ya name 'em "Cory", ya push 'em out the door, and nothing makes sense for the rest of his life.
Miss Kelly: Well, congratulations; you seem to have a thorough understanding of the life cycle.
Cory: Hey, I live it!
[Eric is asked how he afforded a huge wedding]
Eric: So I'm picking up the tuxes, and I see that they're setting up for this big Peterman wedding next door.
Rachel McGuire: Wait - "disposable diaper" Petermans?
Eric: Yeah, them Petermans.
Rachel McGuire: But their wedding is, like, the social event of the year.
Eric: Yeah, well... now it's not.
Jack: What did you do?
Eric: Nothing, really. I just called the operator and asked for the number to the hotel, and while I was waiting, I noticed there was a little shmutz on the end of the phone. I couldn't tell whether it was dried vomit or gum. It *tasted* more like gum...
Jack: Get on with it!
Eric: Anyway, I told them that I was E.J. Peterman and that my daughter had to get married right away because she was pregnant. So drink up, guys, 'cause this is gonna hit the fan in, like, two seconds...
Eric: So I'm picking up the tuxes, and I see that they're setting up for this big Peterman wedding next door.
Rachel McGuire: Wait - "disposable diaper" Petermans?
Eric: Yeah, them Petermans.
Rachel McGuire: But their wedding is, like, the social event of the year.
Eric: Yeah, well... now it's not.
Jack: What did you do?
Eric: Nothing, really. I just called the operator and asked for the number to the hotel, and while I was waiting, I noticed there was a little shmutz on the end of the phone. I couldn't tell whether it was dried vomit or gum. It *tasted* more like gum...
Jack: Get on with it!
Eric: Anyway, I told them that I was E.J. Peterman and that my daughter had to get married right away because she was pregnant. So drink up, guys, 'cause this is gonna hit the fan in, like, two seconds...
Chet Hunter: I had and idea for a news channel to broadcast news 24 hours a day all over the world.
Topanga: You invented "CNN"?
Chet Hunter: Yes. "Chet's News Network". But I made the mistake of blabbing my idea to a southern man on an elevator.
[Chet turns to Mr. Turner]
Chet Hunter: Uh, what's your last name again?
Mr. Turner: "Turner"... No relation.
Topanga: You invented "CNN"?
Chet Hunter: Yes. "Chet's News Network". But I made the mistake of blabbing my idea to a southern man on an elevator.
[Chet turns to Mr. Turner]
Chet Hunter: Uh, what's your last name again?
Mr. Turner: "Turner"... No relation.
[Cory thinks he is turning into a werewolf]
Madame Mosbenskias: Come to me, Werewolf Boy.
Cory: You know.
Madame Mosbenskias: I know many things, I know you were bitten by a wolf.
Cory: It's true.
Madame Mosbenskias: I know you are now becoming a wolf.
Cory: That's amazing.
Madame Mosbenskias: I know you are recently divorced.
Cory: What?
Madame Mosbenskias: You're not Billy Joel?
Cory: No.
Madame Mosbenskias: Well, then, you're just a wolf.
Madame Mosbenskias: Come to me, Werewolf Boy.
Cory: You know.
Madame Mosbenskias: I know many things, I know you were bitten by a wolf.
Cory: It's true.
Madame Mosbenskias: I know you are now becoming a wolf.
Cory: That's amazing.
Madame Mosbenskias: I know you are recently divorced.
Cory: What?
Madame Mosbenskias: You're not Billy Joel?
Cory: No.
Madame Mosbenskias: Well, then, you're just a wolf.
Harley: How come last night you kept me waiting for 20 minutes outside your house?
Gloria: How come you parked outside my house, honked the horn, and didn't come in?
Harley: Because maybe I saw your father standing by the door and I didn't feel like saying hello.
Gloria: That was my mother.
Harley: Then I definitely don't wanna meet your father.
Gloria: How come you parked outside my house, honked the horn, and didn't come in?
Harley: Because maybe I saw your father standing by the door and I didn't feel like saying hello.
Gloria: That was my mother.
Harley: Then I definitely don't wanna meet your father.
Shawn: Cory, I have got something incredible to tell you. But for security reasons, I am going to use our code.
Cory: Well, we don't have a code, Shawn.
Shawn: Really? Guys like us should have a code.
Cory: Well, you know, we'll bring that up at the next meeting.
Shawn: So when's our next meeting?
Cory: Shawn, we don't have meetings!
Shawn: This club blows!
Cory: Well, we don't have a code, Shawn.
Shawn: Really? Guys like us should have a code.
Cory: Well, you know, we'll bring that up at the next meeting.
Shawn: So when's our next meeting?
Cory: Shawn, we don't have meetings!
Shawn: This club blows!
Cory: [in the principal's office] Now my name is Johnny Baboon, at least my life can't get any worse
Mr. George Feeny: [turns from his desk chair] Wrong again... Mr. Baboon
Cory: MR. FEENY!
Mr. George Feeny: The legend continues
Cory: How can this be, you're only temporary right, you don't have the full authority to authorize detention or caning, right?
Mr. George Feeny: Oh, the school board and its infinite wisdom has been set to give me full authority
Mr. George Feeny: [turns from his desk chair] Wrong again... Mr. Baboon
Cory: MR. FEENY!
Mr. George Feeny: The legend continues
Cory: How can this be, you're only temporary right, you don't have the full authority to authorize detention or caning, right?
Mr. George Feeny: Oh, the school board and its infinite wisdom has been set to give me full authority
[Cory, Topanga, Shawn, Angela, Eric, and Jack are trapped in the high school with a murderer. He has just now murdered Mr. Feeny. They are hiding in a classroom trying to figure out what to do next]
Topanga: Feeny's dead... Feeny's dead! Mr. Feeny is dead!
Cory: Feeny can't die, how can Feeny die?
Shawn Hunter: He was the first suspect. It's my fault, the second I suspected him, I signed his death warrant.
Angela: Well, is any one of us safe?
Shawn Hunter: Yeah, virgins. Virgins never die.
Cory: All right!
[to Topanga]
Cory: Thanks for saving me.
Eric: [happily] I'm dead!
Jack: I'm dead.
Shawn Hunter: I'll get as sick as you can get without actually... dying.
Angela: Feeny, he's dead.
[Eric and Shawn lock eyes, thinking the exact same thing]
Eric: All right!
Shawn Hunter, Eric: [cheering and signing] Go, Feeny, go, Feeny, go...
Cory: [annoyed] Okay! Listen. As happy as I am for Feeny, I am scared to death here.
Topanga: Feeny's dead... Feeny's dead! Mr. Feeny is dead!
Cory: Feeny can't die, how can Feeny die?
Shawn Hunter: He was the first suspect. It's my fault, the second I suspected him, I signed his death warrant.
Angela: Well, is any one of us safe?
Shawn Hunter: Yeah, virgins. Virgins never die.
Cory: All right!
[to Topanga]
Cory: Thanks for saving me.
Eric: [happily] I'm dead!
Jack: I'm dead.
Shawn Hunter: I'll get as sick as you can get without actually... dying.
Angela: Feeny, he's dead.
[Eric and Shawn lock eyes, thinking the exact same thing]
Eric: All right!
Shawn Hunter, Eric: [cheering and signing] Go, Feeny, go, Feeny, go...
Cory: [annoyed] Okay! Listen. As happy as I am for Feeny, I am scared to death here.
[all said very fast]
Joey: That's a good one, Harley. That's a great one. I'll be laughing at that one for years and years. I'll probably be telling my grandkids about it, like sixty years from now. Unless of course, if I don't have grandkids, and then I suppose I'll have to tell some strange kids in a park. And the cops'll come and say, "Hey, you in the raincoat... "
Harley: Shut up.
Joey: Yeah, okay.
Joey: That's a good one, Harley. That's a great one. I'll be laughing at that one for years and years. I'll probably be telling my grandkids about it, like sixty years from now. Unless of course, if I don't have grandkids, and then I suppose I'll have to tell some strange kids in a park. And the cops'll come and say, "Hey, you in the raincoat... "
Harley: Shut up.
Joey: Yeah, okay.
Jack: [Eric is set on getting revenge on Topanga for beating him up and he is dressed as an old man inside a painting. Jack walks by and stops in shock] I begged you. I begged you to get help
Eric: [laughs] Oooh this is going to be so sweet. Bye, bye Topanga.
Jack: You know what, Topanga is too smart for you. Anyone is.
Eric: Stay out of this Jack. This is a one man mission. Will you help me?
Jack: No.
[leaves]
Eric: Fine. I can handle this myself.
[to the woman in the painting]
Eric: You have a very large head. I don't know why I married you.
Eric: [laughs] Oooh this is going to be so sweet. Bye, bye Topanga.
Jack: You know what, Topanga is too smart for you. Anyone is.
Eric: Stay out of this Jack. This is a one man mission. Will you help me?
Jack: No.
[leaves]
Eric: Fine. I can handle this myself.
[to the woman in the painting]
Eric: You have a very large head. I don't know why I married you.
Cory: [after a date at a poetry reading] I love poetry now! You know, I could be a poet: There once was a boy named Cory.
Eric: Who now has an interesting story!
Cory: He learned about kissin'...
Eric: And all he was missin'...
Shawn Hunter: When he and Topanga made out!
Cory: [to Shawn] Can you say summer school?
Eric: Who now has an interesting story!
Cory: He learned about kissin'...
Eric: And all he was missin'...
Shawn Hunter: When he and Topanga made out!
Cory: [to Shawn] Can you say summer school?
Cory: [On a road trip with Eric, wanting to go home] I want to go home and here's why, I'm completely out of clean underwear.
Eric: Big deal. I ran out a week ago. I'm sittin' pretty.
Cory: I don't know if you've noticed, but I've also run out of pants.
Eric: [Looks] Ahhh!
Cory: I wanna go home!
Eric: I want you in pants!
Eric: Big deal. I ran out a week ago. I'm sittin' pretty.
Cory: I don't know if you've noticed, but I've also run out of pants.
Eric: [Looks] Ahhh!
Cory: I wanna go home!
Eric: I want you in pants!
Mr. George Feeny: Gutenberg's generation thirsted for a new book every six months! Your generation gets a new web page every 6 seconds. And how do you use this technology? To try and beat King Koopa, and rescue the princess. Shame on you. You deserve what you get.
[Bell rings]
Mr. George Feeny: Sit down. Stay where you are. For the first time, I choose to walk out on you.
[Bell rings]
Mr. George Feeny: Sit down. Stay where you are. For the first time, I choose to walk out on you.
[it is Halloween at a yogurt parlor]
Cory: Got any special flavors?
Cashier: Well, we've got Bucket of Blood, that's like Strawberry, and we've got Bucket of Guts, that's more or less Chocolate, and we've got Smashed and Severed Hair Steins, I don't recommend that.
Cory: Can you mix the Blood, and the Guts?
Cashier: All the time.
Cory: Got any special flavors?
Cashier: Well, we've got Bucket of Blood, that's like Strawberry, and we've got Bucket of Guts, that's more or less Chocolate, and we've got Smashed and Severed Hair Steins, I don't recommend that.
Cory: Can you mix the Blood, and the Guts?
Cashier: All the time.
Cory: [discussing Cory and Topanga's breakup, and that Topanga went out with another guy the night before. Shawn has lost hope for the relationship] So we're the only two guys in the world who think there's still hope for Topanga and me, and you're throwing in the towel?
Shawn Hunter: [nods] Yeah.
Cory: Okay, all right.
[turns away]
Shawn Hunter: You okay?
Cory: Yeah, sure. It's a strange feeling though.
Cory: What, that it's finally over between you and Topanga?
Cory: [turns back to face Shawn] No, being the only person who knows it's not.
Shawn Hunter: [nods] Yeah.
Cory: Okay, all right.
[turns away]
Shawn Hunter: You okay?
Cory: Yeah, sure. It's a strange feeling though.
Cory: What, that it's finally over between you and Topanga?
Cory: [turns back to face Shawn] No, being the only person who knows it's not.
Eric: Hey, Artie.
Arthur: It's Arthur.
Eric: You're up for the same internship.
Arthur: Eric, I'm going to save you the embarrassment. I'm a straight A student, my documentaries have gone to multiple film festival honors, and I have a letter of recommendation from Ted Turner.
Eric: Your point?
Arthur: I could walk in without pants and get this job.
Eric: I've seen you in gym class, Arthur, wear pants.
Arthur: It's Arthur.
Eric: You're up for the same internship.
Arthur: Eric, I'm going to save you the embarrassment. I'm a straight A student, my documentaries have gone to multiple film festival honors, and I have a letter of recommendation from Ted Turner.
Eric: Your point?
Arthur: I could walk in without pants and get this job.
Eric: I've seen you in gym class, Arthur, wear pants.
Eric: We feed Morgan some kind of poison, which makes her ill. And when Dad is in the emergency room, that's when the party begins!
Topanga: Let me get this stright, you would poison your sister to surprise your father?
Eric: Now if Morgan goes south, you know, if she croaks, it will put a damper on the whole party. That's why we will have... Horsey Rides! See, me on the horsey, (let's call him Pete) on Pete having fun, joy, merriment. Any questions?
Topanga: Let me get this stright, you would poison your sister to surprise your father?
Eric: Now if Morgan goes south, you know, if she croaks, it will put a damper on the whole party. That's why we will have... Horsey Rides! See, me on the horsey, (let's call him Pete) on Pete having fun, joy, merriment. Any questions?
Mr. George Feeny: [Rachel, Eric, Cory and Topanga are playing the Fiancè Game, and Mr. Feeny has been selected to read the questions] Okay, Rachel, what is Eric's favorite fish?
Rachel McGuire: Umm... penguin!
Mr. George Feeny: No, I don't think you understand...
Eric: [Flips up paper with the word penguin written on it] BAM!
Rachel McGuire: Oh, do I know my man?
Eric: It's like we share the same brain.
Rachel McGuire: Umm... penguin!
Mr. George Feeny: No, I don't think you understand...
Eric: [Flips up paper with the word penguin written on it] BAM!
Rachel McGuire: Oh, do I know my man?
Eric: It's like we share the same brain.
[Eric and Jennifer Love Fefferman have been killed by the murderer]
Jack: Eric! Feffie... Eric, he was my friend, my roomate! I didn't really know her.
Jack: Wait, without Eric I can't afford to live in my apartment anymore. If I can't afford to live in my apartment anymore, then I don't want to live!
[Jack runs to windowsill and prepares to jump]
Angela Moore: Wait Jack, Shawn is still your roommate, together you can make the rent.
Jack: Ok, let's go back inside now.
Jack, Angela Moore: Ahhhh!
[Jack and Angela fall to their doom]
Jack: Eric! Feffie... Eric, he was my friend, my roomate! I didn't really know her.
Jack: Wait, without Eric I can't afford to live in my apartment anymore. If I can't afford to live in my apartment anymore, then I don't want to live!
[Jack runs to windowsill and prepares to jump]
Angela Moore: Wait Jack, Shawn is still your roommate, together you can make the rent.
Jack: Ok, let's go back inside now.
Jack, Angela Moore: Ahhhh!
[Jack and Angela fall to their doom]
Feeny: Alan, there is a large rusty object not only blocking my driveway, but most of the light into my kitchen.
Eric: Hey, that's my new car.
Feeny: May I assume it moves?
Eric: Like the wind. Especially downhill. Oh. You want me to move it?
Feeny: Well, we certainly can't count on anyone stealing it.
Eric: Hey, that's my new car.
Feeny: May I assume it moves?
Eric: Like the wind. Especially downhill. Oh. You want me to move it?
Feeny: Well, we certainly can't count on anyone stealing it.
Clerk [played by John Balma]: Name?
Cory: Why? I- I, mean, w- why do you need that?
Clerk: Just need a name to put in the computer, any name. Any name will do.
Cory: Oh, this is silly. You must go through this all the time. I'll just, I'll give you my real name. It's, It's Don. Don Quixote. That's me.
Clerk: That's new. Address?
Cory: 1414 Bella, Mancha.
Cory: Why? I- I, mean, w- why do you need that?
Clerk: Just need a name to put in the computer, any name. Any name will do.
Cory: Oh, this is silly. You must go through this all the time. I'll just, I'll give you my real name. It's, It's Don. Don Quixote. That's me.
Clerk: That's new. Address?
Cory: 1414 Bella, Mancha.
Mr. George Feeny: Well Mr. Matthews, why don't we call this a dress rehersal for the many visits we will endoubtly have this year.
Cory: Huh?
Mr. George Feeny: Get out of my face.
Cory: Sure, my next class is American History with Mr, Um... Feeny... Mr... Fay... ayy
[the bell rings]
Mr. George Feeny: You're late!
Cory: Huh?
Mr. George Feeny: Get out of my face.
Cory: Sure, my next class is American History with Mr, Um... Feeny... Mr... Fay... ayy
[the bell rings]
Mr. George Feeny: You're late!
Radio: Well, the search for the missing wolf continues, and with the day being Halloween, we've been receiving prank calls of reports of wolves and even werewolves.
Cory: Werewolves, isn't that silly?
[sees the cashier's face]
Cory: Isn't it?
Cashier: There are things, and then there are *things*.
Cory: You mean... There are things such as werewolves?
Cashier: There are places were such things are revealed. For five dollars complete.
Cory: Werewolves, isn't that silly?
[sees the cashier's face]
Cory: Isn't it?
Cashier: There are things, and then there are *things*.
Cory: You mean... There are things such as werewolves?
Cashier: There are places were such things are revealed. For five dollars complete.
