Black Sheep Quotes
An experiment in genetic engineering turns harmless sheep into blood-thirsty killers that terrorize a sprawling New Zealand farm.
[phoning citizens in an attempt to secure votes]
Mike: Hi there, this is Mike Donnelly. I work over here at the recreational center. To be honest with you I pretty much run the place ha, ha, ha. Is this ah Pat Gyles? Good, Good. Hey, hope everything's going great in your fine town of er Avery? Edward! Ha, ha, ha. Say, the reason I'm calling is I wanted to tell you a little bit about the candidacy of Al Donnelly. Al Donnelly's a guy with a dream. His dream is to become governor of this great state of Washington. Hell, every guy's got his dream, am I right? Between you, me and the wall here, I doozy myself last night. Ha ha, ha, ha. Get this: A corn-fed harvest mouse, a hooker, a nun, a Flemish peasant woman, whips, chains, whistles yo-yo's, a circus midget. My grandmother riding by on a bicycle give me the finger, and a duck! Now, I don't know ha, ha, ha. Are you crying? Oh my lord. I am sorry honey, please don't ! Could you get your daddy on the phone. No, don't hang up please I...
[phone hangs up]
Mike: Hi there, this is Mike Donnelly. I work over here at the recreational center. To be honest with you I pretty much run the place ha, ha, ha. Is this ah Pat Gyles? Good, Good. Hey, hope everything's going great in your fine town of er Avery? Edward! Ha, ha, ha. Say, the reason I'm calling is I wanted to tell you a little bit about the candidacy of Al Donnelly. Al Donnelly's a guy with a dream. His dream is to become governor of this great state of Washington. Hell, every guy's got his dream, am I right? Between you, me and the wall here, I doozy myself last night. Ha ha, ha, ha. Get this: A corn-fed harvest mouse, a hooker, a nun, a Flemish peasant woman, whips, chains, whistles yo-yo's, a circus midget. My grandmother riding by on a bicycle give me the finger, and a duck! Now, I don't know ha, ha, ha. Are you crying? Oh my lord. I am sorry honey, please don't ! Could you get your daddy on the phone. No, don't hang up please I...
[phone hangs up]
[Mike is pretending to be a cop, Steve is pretending to be a prisoner]
Steve: Ro-ads. Ro-ods.
Mike: Quiet back there! I've taken enough guff from you for one day!
[turns to state trooper]
Mike: Raving psycho! Butchered 400 chickens and screwed a beagle. I'm taking him back to Nevada where he's wanted for banging horses!
Steve: Ro-ads. Ro-ods.
Mike: Quiet back there! I've taken enough guff from you for one day!
[turns to state trooper]
Mike: Raving psycho! Butchered 400 chickens and screwed a beagle. I'm taking him back to Nevada where he's wanted for banging horses!
Mike: [dressed as security guard] Please move away from this vector and get into another coordinate pronto. There's no access for you in this quadrant.
Teen: Man, why don't you goose-step on down to the women and children over there and give them your little power trip, because they may be impressed by it, asshole!
Mike: Young man, I'm gonna twist off your head and spike it onto the floors of a nightmare you can't even imagine! I will dance with you inside the six-sided ring of fire, unless you move from this area, far and fast, NOW!
Teen: Man, why don't you goose-step on down to the women and children over there and give them your little power trip, because they may be impressed by it, asshole!
Mike: Young man, I'm gonna twist off your head and spike it onto the floors of a nightmare you can't even imagine! I will dance with you inside the six-sided ring of fire, unless you move from this area, far and fast, NOW!
Henry: What's that?
Experience: Geranium: aromatherapy for uplift and hormonal balance.
Henry: Do your hormones really need balancing?
Experience: Considering I've been attacked by genetically-engineered monsters, jumped off a moving vehicle, been chased across a paddock, dragged into a torture chamber, pulled into a mountain of rotting flesh - yes, my hormones need fucking balancing.
Experience: Geranium: aromatherapy for uplift and hormonal balance.
Henry: Do your hormones really need balancing?
Experience: Considering I've been attacked by genetically-engineered monsters, jumped off a moving vehicle, been chased across a paddock, dragged into a torture chamber, pulled into a mountain of rotting flesh - yes, my hormones need fucking balancing.
Mike: Man! This place is trashed!
Steve: Check this out! This whole fridge is held up here just by this plug!
[unplugs the fridge, letting it slide toward Mike, pinning him against the wall]
Steve: You OK?
Mike: I'm just dandy! I got a bowl of chocolate pudding in my underpants!
Steve: We didn't have any pudding in there, buddy.
Steve: Check this out! This whole fridge is held up here just by this plug!
[unplugs the fridge, letting it slide toward Mike, pinning him against the wall]
Steve: You OK?
Mike: I'm just dandy! I got a bowl of chocolate pudding in my underpants!
Steve: We didn't have any pudding in there, buddy.
Governor Tracy: [Mike has just given evidence that Governor Tracy's campaign has committed voter fraud] Now hold on young man, there is a good explanation for all of this. Neuschwander?
Neuschwander: Actually, there is a very good explanation for this.
[Tracy smiles]
Neuschwander: She put us up to it.
Governor Tracy: [hushed] Would you shut up?
Neuschwander: It's all her!
Governor Tracy: [hushed] Shut up!
Neuschwander: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Neuschwander: Actually, there is a very good explanation for this.
[Tracy smiles]
Neuschwander: She put us up to it.
Governor Tracy: [hushed] Would you shut up?
Neuschwander: It's all her!
Governor Tracy: [hushed] Shut up!
Neuschwander: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Steve: [completely wasted on the nitrous oxide] ... But, this map is heavy... It's got all of those... robes on it. Robes? Rogues?
Mike: [also stoned; giggling] Roads!
Steve, Mike: Aahahahaha!
Mike: [suddenly stops laughing] I'm stoned... so are you!
[looks in the backseat]
Mike: Dammit! The nitrous oxide's leaking into the car! OK, calm down... we just gotta keep under the speed limit... limit...
[starts giggling again]
Mike: Limit! Haha, that's another one of those freaky words!
Mike: [also stoned; giggling] Roads!
Steve, Mike: Aahahahaha!
Mike: [suddenly stops laughing] I'm stoned... so are you!
[looks in the backseat]
Mike: Dammit! The nitrous oxide's leaking into the car! OK, calm down... we just gotta keep under the speed limit... limit...
[starts giggling again]
Mike: Limit! Haha, that's another one of those freaky words!
