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A guy fed up with his job and married to a cheating wife reluctantly mentors a rebellious teen.
Bill: Let me tell you something, kid. Working sucks, okay? Working sucks! And it doesn't matter if you're in a bank, a department store or a doughnut factory, because once you've been there long enough, the only thing you'll care about is when your next pay increase is, how many vacation days you've accrued and if your health insurance is gonna pay for the cholesterol medicine that keeps your heart pumping no matter how much shit you've worked through it. Then after you've gained 20 or 30 pounds because you're so fucking uptight all the time, you wake and discover you're working for your father-in-law in a position with a gratuitous title and you're totally replaceable. And not only is the new guy better at your job, but he's got a better car and better jokes and better hair! So not matter what you do, you make sure you make a lot of money doing it because it all sucks! And that is one lesson I, as your mentor, can teach you.
Bill: They hate that I'm working at their bank. I hate that I'm working at their bank.
[after The Kid kisses her on the cheek] Lucy: Sneaky little shit.
Bill: [sees him on the roof of the bank] What are you doing? The Kid: [referring to the sign] I'm fixing your head!
Bill: Paul, could you not be a fag for half a second?! Paul: I'll try...little acorn.
Bill: I don't think now is the best time for me to be mentoring someone. The Kid: Now is the perfect time!
Bill: [whilst looking in the mirror] I'm a fat fuck!
The Kid: I bought you those pink furry ones. Lucy: I returned them.
Tom the Fireworks Man: I'm excited. Are you excited? Get excited!
The Kid: Have you ever just looked at all the cash?
The Kid: That sounds like a giant ass!
Bill: They want to shoot an elephant. Who the fuck wants to shoot an elephant?