Baby Mama Quotes
A successful, single businesswoman who dreams of having a baby discovers she is infertile and hires a working class woman to be her unlikely surrogate.
Kate Holbrook: Did you just stick your gum under my coffee table?
Angie Ostrowiski: [nervous] I don't know.
Kate Holbrook: What do you mean, you don't know? You think you're at an Arby's right now?
Angie Ostrowiski: You know what? I wish I was at an Arby's 'cause there's better food and cooler people there!
Kate Holbrook: [looks under the coffee table] Did you stick *all* this gum under here?
Angie Ostrowiski: I don't know! Maybe you stuck some of it under there.
Kate Holbrook: Yeah, actually, you might be right. 'Cause sometimes, when I work a really long day, I like to come home and chew a huge wad of Bubblicious gum and stick it under my reclaimed barnwood coffee table!
Angie Ostrowiski: Bitch, I don't know your life!
Angie Ostrowiski: [nervous] I don't know.
Kate Holbrook: What do you mean, you don't know? You think you're at an Arby's right now?
Angie Ostrowiski: You know what? I wish I was at an Arby's 'cause there's better food and cooler people there!
Kate Holbrook: [looks under the coffee table] Did you stick *all* this gum under here?
Angie Ostrowiski: I don't know! Maybe you stuck some of it under there.
Kate Holbrook: Yeah, actually, you might be right. 'Cause sometimes, when I work a really long day, I like to come home and chew a huge wad of Bubblicious gum and stick it under my reclaimed barnwood coffee table!
Angie Ostrowiski: Bitch, I don't know your life!
Kate Holbrook: So... How long have you two been together?
Angie Ostrowiski: We met the summer after I discontinued high school, and we've been together ever since.
Angie Ostrowiski: He never officially asked me to be his wife but he never asked me to not be his wife either, so things are going pretty good.
Angie Ostrowiski: We met the summer after I discontinued high school, and we've been together ever since.
Angie Ostrowiski: He never officially asked me to be his wife but he never asked me to not be his wife either, so things are going pretty good.
Oscar: So you got you a baby mama! You know I got two baby mamas myself.
Kate Holbrook: Yes, but you had relationships with those women.
Oscar: I didn't have relationships with those women. I had 'relations' with those women.
Kate Holbrook: Well, this is different. I'm paying her to have my baby.
Oscar: She's havin' a baby, you're payin' the bills. That's a baby mama. Ask any black man in Philadelphia.
Kate Holbrook: Yes, but you had relationships with those women.
Oscar: I didn't have relationships with those women. I had 'relations' with those women.
Kate Holbrook: Well, this is different. I'm paying her to have my baby.
Oscar: She's havin' a baby, you're payin' the bills. That's a baby mama. Ask any black man in Philadelphia.
Birthing Teacher: Welcome to the birthing center. In this birthing class we are going to help you new mommies and daddies, and our mommies and mommies, lesbian lovers...
Kate Holbrook, Angie Ostrowiski: No.
Birthing Teacher: prepare for that marathon of labor. Quick question before we start, how many of you are planning on doing natural child birth?
[everyone raises hand except Angie and Kate]
Birthing Teacher: That's a good show of hands! That's so great, you're all so brave! And how many of you are planning on using toxic western medications to drug your baby for your own selfish comfort, anyone?
Angie Ostrowiski: [raises hands] OOH OOOOOH!
Kate Holbrook, Angie Ostrowiski: No.
Birthing Teacher: prepare for that marathon of labor. Quick question before we start, how many of you are planning on doing natural child birth?
[everyone raises hand except Angie and Kate]
Birthing Teacher: That's a good show of hands! That's so great, you're all so brave! And how many of you are planning on using toxic western medications to drug your baby for your own selfish comfort, anyone?
Angie Ostrowiski: [raises hands] OOH OOOOOH!
Fertility Specialist: Well... I just don't like your uterus.
Fertility Specialist: Don't get me wrong, your eggs are in great shape, but you have a T-shaped uterus. That combined with your advanced maternal age, it's preventing proper implantation.
Kate Holbrook: Why do I have this T-shaped uterus?
Fertility Specialist: Well, probably has something to do with medication that was given to your mother when she was pregnant with you. We used lot of drugs back in the '70s which we now know can cause infertility.
Kate Holbrook: Infertility?
Fertility Specialist: Yeah. I would say that your chances of conceiving are very low.
Kate Holbrook: How low?
Fertility Specialist: Well, I don't want to assign a number to it.
Kate Holbrook: What would you assign it? A color, a nickname, a locker?
Fertility Specialist: Okay. One in, in a million. I just don't like...
Kate Holbrook: Don't say that again.
Fertility Specialist: Don't get me wrong, your eggs are in great shape, but you have a T-shaped uterus. That combined with your advanced maternal age, it's preventing proper implantation.
Kate Holbrook: Why do I have this T-shaped uterus?
Fertility Specialist: Well, probably has something to do with medication that was given to your mother when she was pregnant with you. We used lot of drugs back in the '70s which we now know can cause infertility.
Kate Holbrook: Infertility?
Fertility Specialist: Yeah. I would say that your chances of conceiving are very low.
Kate Holbrook: How low?
Fertility Specialist: Well, I don't want to assign a number to it.
Kate Holbrook: What would you assign it? A color, a nickname, a locker?
Fertility Specialist: Okay. One in, in a million. I just don't like...
Kate Holbrook: Don't say that again.
