Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters Quotes
An action epic that explores the origins of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force (better known as Master Shake, Frylock, and Meatwad,) who somehow become pitted in a battle over an immortal piece of exercise equipment.
Mastodon (band): [lyrics to opening song about movie theater etiquette] Don't talk, watch! Don't talk, watch! You came here. Watch it. Don't like it? Walk out. We still have all your fucking money. Do not nudge, kick or jiggle the seat in front of you. I'm sitting there! I am everywhere at once and I will cut you up. If you make out here, I will cut your lips and tongue from your head with a linoleum knife. Do not explain the plot. If you don't understand, then you should not be here. Your money is now our money and we will spend it on drugs. Do not crinkle your food wrappers loudly. Be considerate to others, or I will bite your torso and give you a disease. Did you bring your baby? Babies don't watch this. Take the seed outside. Leave it in the streets. Run over it after the show. If I see you videotaping this movie, Satan will rain down your throat with hot acid and dissolve your testicles and turn your guts into snakes. This is copyrighted movie for Time Warner. If I find that you've sold it on eBay, I will break into your house and tear your wife in half.
[first lines]
Soda Dog Refreshment Squad: It's a groovy time for a movie time / So grab your gal, and grab a seat / But don't forget to get something to eat / Delicious meat, a nutritious meat / You can't beat my meat for a special treat / Sucking on me is really neat / Don't be a jerk and don't be a fool / Be a good neighbor and follow these rules / What are these rules? / Remember to keep your shoes on at all times / Don't pull your penis out unless you really need to / Indecent exposure is a Class 2 felony...
Soda Dog Refreshment Squad: It's a groovy time for a movie time / So grab your gal, and grab a seat / But don't forget to get something to eat / Delicious meat, a nutritious meat / You can't beat my meat for a special treat / Sucking on me is really neat / Don't be a jerk and don't be a fool / Be a good neighbor and follow these rules / What are these rules? / Remember to keep your shoes on at all times / Don't pull your penis out unless you really need to / Indecent exposure is a Class 2 felony...
Time Lincoln: Haha! No one will catch Time Lincoln!
CIA Agent #1: Quick shoot before he transports!
Time Lincoln: NO ONE EVER!
CIA Agent #2: Oh great. You just had to shoot didn't you, way to change the future.
CIA Agent #1: What do you mean?
[pans out to show the two CIA agents pulling a cart for an African-American plantation owner]
Plantation Owner: Pull, whitey, PULL!
[whips them]
CIA Agent #1: Quick shoot before he transports!
Time Lincoln: NO ONE EVER!
CIA Agent #2: Oh great. You just had to shoot didn't you, way to change the future.
CIA Agent #1: What do you mean?
[pans out to show the two CIA agents pulling a cart for an African-American plantation owner]
Plantation Owner: Pull, whitey, PULL!
[whips them]
Master Shake: Now this square is the... man.
Meatwad: Ok.
Master Shake: This circle here, that's a uterus.
Meatwad: That's what it looks like?
Master Shake: Up close yes this is lifelike drawing of the uterus. See the guy takes the car after his job to pick up the uterus at her house...
Meatwad: Mmhmm.
Master Shake: because she doesn't work unless she's sweeping up something.
Meatwad: Wel... and where do they go?
Master Shake: All the way... to a hotel... which definitely has cable... and that's where this trapezoid becomes hmm shall we say... hahaha entangled with the exposed and aerated crotches.
Meatwad: And that there is the exposed crotches?
Master Shake: I told you that's the chair and the spatula.
Meatwad: I knew it.
Master Shake: Congratulate yourself my friend... you have just been laid.
Meatwad: Ooh... that feels good.
Master Shake: Yeah, I never tire of it.
Meatwad: Ok.
Master Shake: This circle here, that's a uterus.
Meatwad: That's what it looks like?
Master Shake: Up close yes this is lifelike drawing of the uterus. See the guy takes the car after his job to pick up the uterus at her house...
Meatwad: Mmhmm.
Master Shake: because she doesn't work unless she's sweeping up something.
Meatwad: Wel... and where do they go?
Master Shake: All the way... to a hotel... which definitely has cable... and that's where this trapezoid becomes hmm shall we say... hahaha entangled with the exposed and aerated crotches.
Meatwad: And that there is the exposed crotches?
Master Shake: I told you that's the chair and the spatula.
Meatwad: I knew it.
Master Shake: Congratulate yourself my friend... you have just been laid.
Meatwad: Ooh... that feels good.
Master Shake: Yeah, I never tire of it.
Cybernetic Ghost: [attempting to distract Aqua Teens] Thousands of years ago I ran for treasurer of student council
[Frylock slams door]
Cybernetic Ghost: . It involved a lot of hard work! We decorated many cookies. We spent all night putting up green frosting and then we drew up many posters but the principle called me down to her office and informed me that I had violated election rules...
Carl Brutananadilewski: [walking over] Yah thousands of years ago I kicked your ass... and I'm going to do it again right now!
Cybernetic Ghost: That is what Sister Margaret kept telling me if I displayed my physically agenda in her bathroom
[Carl whacks off Ghost's head with Tire Iron]
[Frylock slams door]
Cybernetic Ghost: . It involved a lot of hard work! We decorated many cookies. We spent all night putting up green frosting and then we drew up many posters but the principle called me down to her office and informed me that I had violated election rules...
Carl Brutananadilewski: [walking over] Yah thousands of years ago I kicked your ass... and I'm going to do it again right now!
Cybernetic Ghost: That is what Sister Margaret kept telling me if I displayed my physically agenda in her bathroom
[Carl whacks off Ghost's head with Tire Iron]
