Alice

Alice Quotes

A spoiled Manhattan housewife re-evaluates her life after visiting a Chinatown healer.

[Alice and Joe have taken Chinese herbs that make them invisible. A cab pulls up to the curb, the back door opens by itself, and they get out]
Joe: Geez, nothing shocks these New York cab drivers!
Dr. Yang: Love is a very complex emotion. No rational thought... much romance, but much suffering.
Muse: Yeah, I know Professor Davis. He's trying to get you into the sack.
Alice: No!
Muse: Yeah, it's the main reason he teaches: female pupils.
Alice: No, he's, he's very deep! He's not like that.
Muse: Yeah, 'very deep' is exactly where he wants to put it.
[explaining to Alice why he wants to have an affair with her]
Joe: There's nothing sexier than a lapsed Catholic.
[first lines]
Doug: Hey, where are you now?
Alice: Nowhere.
Doug: It's late, I have to go.
Alice's Mother: When it came to me and your dad, you had stars in your eyes.
[last lines]
Woman 1: [voiceover] But - she - someone said she's a changed woman.
Woman 2: Speaking of changed women, Gloria Phillips had face work.
Woman 1: Oh, oh - ah, well, of course - she's having an affair with her astrologer, isn't she?
Woman 2: Yes, but she's a changed woman, because you can't tell it's Gloria!
[trying to tell Alice what he likes about her]
Doug: You have a nice personality and you know sweaters.
[Alice tells off her unfaithful husband, Doug]
Alice: I've done things I didn't know I had in me.
Alice: But then when dad died you drank yourself to death with, with margaritas.
Alice's Mother: I couldn't help it darling. You know I couldn't resist the taste of salt around the rim of a glass.

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