A Mighty Wind Quotes
Mockumentary captures the reunion of 1960s folk trio the Folksmen as they prepare for a show at The Town Hall to memorialize a recently deceased concert promoter.
Terry Bohner: This is not an occult science. This is not one of those crazy systems of divination and astrology. That stuff's hooey, and you've got to have a screw loose to go in for that sort of thing. Our beliefs are fairly commonplace and simple to understand. Humankind is simply materialized color operating on the 49th vibration. You would make that conclusion walking down the street or going to the store.
Lars Olfen: [In the meeting with Jonathan Steinbloom] The naches that I'm feeling right now... 'cause your dad was like mishpoche to me. When I heard I got these ticket to the Folksmen, I let out a geshreeyeh, and I'm running with my friend... running around like a vilde chaye, right into the theater, in the front row! So we've got the schpilkes, 'cause we're sittin' right there... and it's a mitzvah, what your dad did, and I want to try to give that back to you. Okeinhoreh, I say, and God bless him.
Jonathan Steinbloom: [referring to his mother] You could say she was overly protective - I just like to think she cared about me, which she did, a lot. And I was a member of the chess team and whenever we would have chess tournaments I had to wear a protective helmet, I had to wear a football helmet. Now who knows what she was thinking? Maybe she thought that we might have fallen maybe and impaled our heads on a pointy bishop or something, I don't know.
Leonard Crabbe: I'm a model train enthusiast.
Amber Cole: Oh! That's great!
[chuckles]
Leonard Crabbe: Yes... sort of a whole layout in my basement. Very much a big passion for me, 'tis.
Amber Cole: Yeah. Thank God for model trains.
Leonard Crabbe: Oh, absolutely.
Amber Cole: You know, if they didn't have the model train, they wouldn't have gotten the idea for the big trains.
Amber Cole: Oh! That's great!
[chuckles]
Leonard Crabbe: Yes... sort of a whole layout in my basement. Very much a big passion for me, 'tis.
Amber Cole: Yeah. Thank God for model trains.
Leonard Crabbe: Oh, absolutely.
Amber Cole: You know, if they didn't have the model train, they wouldn't have gotten the idea for the big trains.
Lawrence E. Turpin: All right, here's your giant banjo...
Jonathan Steinbloom: Um-hmm. It's very flat.
Lawrence E. Turpin: Well, it doesn't look flat from in the audience.
Jonathan Steinbloom: It has basically, no dimension to it.
Lawrence E. Turpin: Well, it's painted to look three dimensional. If you go back there, trust me...
Jonathan Steinbloom: But it's not painted on the back. I'm looking at the back right now. Will you look with me for a minute?
Lawrence E. Turpin: Why would it be... From the audience it's gonna look perfectly fine. And it looks three dimensional. Just go out there and take a peek.
Jonathan Steinbloom: Well, is this the real furniture or is this the rehearsal furniture?
Lawrence E. Turpin: Well, A it's not called furniture. It's a set.
Jonathan Steinbloom: Uh-huhh...
Lawrence E. Turpin: And it's painted this way. It looks completely three dimensional from the audience, if you just go out that way, Mr. Steinbloom.
Jonathan Steinbloom: So this is the real furniture, and this is... Is this an actual street lamp?
Lawrence E. Turpin: I'm sure it was at one time.
Jonathan Steinbloom: Can you have an actual three dimensional object that represents the thing that it actually is, can that be next to something that it's pretending to be? Would that be okay?
Lawrence E. Turpin: Yes, it's perfectly fine. You know, I really don't have time to explain Stagecraft 101. This show starts in an hour. Now, every... everything is exactly the way you...
Jonathan Steinbloom: And what are tho... what's tha... that... Those are lights hanging up there?
Lawrence E. Turpin: Yes, those are lights...
Jonathan Steinbloom: Could they fall?
Lawrence E. Turpin: ...and that's a ceiling above us!
Jonathan Steinbloom: But they look shaky.
Lawrence E. Turpin: No, they're not shaky, they're perfectly...
Jonathan Steinbloom: Is that wire? I see a wire. I see a...
[Lawrence smacks him on the head]
Jonathan Steinbloom: Oww!
Jonathan Steinbloom: Um-hmm. It's very flat.
Lawrence E. Turpin: Well, it doesn't look flat from in the audience.
Jonathan Steinbloom: It has basically, no dimension to it.
Lawrence E. Turpin: Well, it's painted to look three dimensional. If you go back there, trust me...
Jonathan Steinbloom: But it's not painted on the back. I'm looking at the back right now. Will you look with me for a minute?
Lawrence E. Turpin: Why would it be... From the audience it's gonna look perfectly fine. And it looks three dimensional. Just go out there and take a peek.
Jonathan Steinbloom: Well, is this the real furniture or is this the rehearsal furniture?
Lawrence E. Turpin: Well, A it's not called furniture. It's a set.
Jonathan Steinbloom: Uh-huhh...
Lawrence E. Turpin: And it's painted this way. It looks completely three dimensional from the audience, if you just go out that way, Mr. Steinbloom.
Jonathan Steinbloom: So this is the real furniture, and this is... Is this an actual street lamp?
Lawrence E. Turpin: I'm sure it was at one time.
Jonathan Steinbloom: Can you have an actual three dimensional object that represents the thing that it actually is, can that be next to something that it's pretending to be? Would that be okay?
Lawrence E. Turpin: Yes, it's perfectly fine. You know, I really don't have time to explain Stagecraft 101. This show starts in an hour. Now, every... everything is exactly the way you...
Jonathan Steinbloom: And what are tho... what's tha... that... Those are lights hanging up there?
Lawrence E. Turpin: Yes, those are lights...
Jonathan Steinbloom: Could they fall?
Lawrence E. Turpin: ...and that's a ceiling above us!
Jonathan Steinbloom: But they look shaky.
Lawrence E. Turpin: No, they're not shaky, they're perfectly...
Jonathan Steinbloom: Is that wire? I see a wire. I see a...
[Lawrence smacks him on the head]
Jonathan Steinbloom: Oww!
Mitch Cohen: [while eating dinner] What is it you do, Leonard? For work?
Leonard Crabbe: Oh, for work. I'm in the bladder management industry. I sell catheters. I have my own distribution company, Sure Flo Medical Appliances. You may have heard of it. It's actually named in tribute after my mother, her name was Florence. It's a growth industry, really, because one in three people over 60 either have a flaccid or a spastic bladder, so in a sense, every 13.5 seconds a new incontinent is born, as it were. People like you and I have what they call "leakage problems." They can be running, playing tennis, laughing, sneezing, anything. I mean, the good old constipation, you know. You have impacted fecal mass in your rectum, you find that pushing on your bladder...
Mickey Crabbe: You know, this might make good dessert talk.
Leonard Crabbe: Oh, for work. I'm in the bladder management industry. I sell catheters. I have my own distribution company, Sure Flo Medical Appliances. You may have heard of it. It's actually named in tribute after my mother, her name was Florence. It's a growth industry, really, because one in three people over 60 either have a flaccid or a spastic bladder, so in a sense, every 13.5 seconds a new incontinent is born, as it were. People like you and I have what they call "leakage problems." They can be running, playing tennis, laughing, sneezing, anything. I mean, the good old constipation, you know. You have impacted fecal mass in your rectum, you find that pushing on your bladder...
Mickey Crabbe: You know, this might make good dessert talk.
David Kantor: In 1971, after the breakup of the Main Street Singers, Chuck Wiseman moved up to San Francisco where she started a retail business with his brothers Howard and Dell, the Three Wisemen's Sex Emporium. It was very successful for a year until they were sued over something having to do with a box of ben wah balls.
Mark Shubb: All right, I don't think finger-pointing is gonna help us here, I... I think it's very clear what we do.
Jerry Palter: What's that?
Mark Shubb: I'm going to suggest we be bold.
Jerry Palter: Yeah, let's hear it...
Mark Shubb: We open with Wandering.
Jerry Palter: Did you miss the last couple of minutes? They're currently butchering...
[to Alan briefly]
Jerry Palter: Turn it back up again. Do you... you wanna hear it?
Jerry Palter: What's that?
Mark Shubb: I'm going to suggest we be bold.
Jerry Palter: Yeah, let's hear it...
Mark Shubb: We open with Wandering.
Jerry Palter: Did you miss the last couple of minutes? They're currently butchering...
[to Alan briefly]
Jerry Palter: Turn it back up again. Do you... you wanna hear it?
Jerry Palter: [the New Main Street Singers perform 'Wandering' in the background] You swear to God you didn't talk to Menschell about the set?
Alan Barrows: Why would I talk to him about it?
Jerry Palter: You didn't tell him what we were opening with, right?
Alan Barrows: I never talked to him about it at all.
Jerry Palter: Okay,
[turns to Mark]
Jerry Palter: so you were talkin' to that Terry Bohner kid, in his blue sweater...
Mark Shubb: All I said was, 'Oh my goodness, isn't it warm?' Nothing about the set.
Jerry Palter: Well, it's gettin' warmer now...
Alan Barrows: Why would I talk to him about it?
Jerry Palter: You didn't tell him what we were opening with, right?
Alan Barrows: I never talked to him about it at all.
Jerry Palter: Okay,
[turns to Mark]
Jerry Palter: so you were talkin' to that Terry Bohner kid, in his blue sweater...
Mark Shubb: All I said was, 'Oh my goodness, isn't it warm?' Nothing about the set.
Jerry Palter: Well, it's gettin' warmer now...
Jerry Palter: Things have been going really well. We got some gigs here, working at the casinos. It has been a time of changes, but change is good. Change is life.
[camera pulls out to reveal Mark Shubb dressed as a woman]
Mark Shubb: It was like a great big door opening for me... Town Hall... after that concert, I realized I wanted to spend as much of the rest of my life as possible playing folk music with these gentlemen...
Jerry Palter: Right back atcha.
Mark Shubb: ...and I wanted to spend all of it as a woman. I came to a realization that I was - and am - a blonde, female folk singer trapped in the body of a bald, male folk singer and I had to LET ME OUT or I WOULD DIE.
Jerry Palter: When you put it that way, it's almost poetry.
Alan Barrows: Almost.
[camera pulls out to reveal Mark Shubb dressed as a woman]
Mark Shubb: It was like a great big door opening for me... Town Hall... after that concert, I realized I wanted to spend as much of the rest of my life as possible playing folk music with these gentlemen...
Jerry Palter: Right back atcha.
Mark Shubb: ...and I wanted to spend all of it as a woman. I came to a realization that I was - and am - a blonde, female folk singer trapped in the body of a bald, male folk singer and I had to LET ME OUT or I WOULD DIE.
Jerry Palter: When you put it that way, it's almost poetry.
Alan Barrows: Almost.
Jerry Palter: [listening backstage to Mitch & Mickey singing "Kiss at the end of the rainbow"] I know this song. This is that really pretty one. With the kiss. Turn that up a bit. Remember, where they used to...
Mark Shubb: The kiss.
Jerry Palter: Wonder how they're gonna handle that.
Mark Shubb: 5 dollars says they do it.
Jerry Palter: You're on.
Mark Shubb: The kiss.
Jerry Palter: Wonder how they're gonna handle that.
Mark Shubb: 5 dollars says they do it.
Jerry Palter: You're on.
Mark Shubb: We give the audience a choice. We say, you can enjoy 'a toothpaste commercial', or do you wanna hear folk music?
Jerry Palter: I think they'll have already brushed their teeth by that time; It's not even germane.
Alan Barrows: Well, here's the thing, you can't have on a bill, especially on a folk bill, you cannot have two people doing the same song. It doesn't work; they're just gonna be flat-out confused...
Jerry Palter: I think they'll have already brushed their teeth by that time; It's not even germane.
Alan Barrows: Well, here's the thing, you can't have on a bill, especially on a folk bill, you cannot have two people doing the same song. It doesn't work; they're just gonna be flat-out confused...
Laurie Bohner: Terry and I worship an unconventional deity. The power of another dimension. Now you are not going to read about this dimension in a book or a magazine because it exists nowhere... but in my own mind. Through our ceremonies and rituals we have witnessed the awesome and vibratory power... of color.
Jonathan Steinbloom: Before we begin tonight's performance I would like to make a brief announcement. I'd like to warn you that some of the floral arrangements at tonight's performance have dangerously low hanging vines and may be poisonous. So please, whatever you do, don't eat 'em and don't become entangled in them or trip, please.
Leonard Crabbe: [Leonard shows Mitch his model trains] This whole area here is called Crabbe Town. We've got a brothel down there above the saloon. And right down there further along I'm thinking of building a French Quarter. I've actually got a bit of French blood.
Mitch Cohen: I would love to see this town in the autumn. I think Crabbeville in autumn would look quite magnificent. I would have made tiny little leaves, oak, poplar, maple, chestnut, and spread them across the town of Crabbeville. Magnificent.
Leonard Crabbe: It's Crabbe Town, not Crabbeville.
Mitch Cohen: I would love to see this town in the autumn. I think Crabbeville in autumn would look quite magnificent. I would have made tiny little leaves, oak, poplar, maple, chestnut, and spread them across the town of Crabbeville. Magnificent.
Leonard Crabbe: It's Crabbe Town, not Crabbeville.
Mitch Cohen: I feel ready for whatever the experience is that we will... take with us after the show. I'm sure it will be... an adventure... a voyage on this... magnificent vessel... into unchartered waters! What if we see sailfish... jumping... and flying across the magnificent orb of a setting sun?
Lars Olfen: I had a garage band in Stockholm, which was a challenge in its own right, to keep an instrument tuned with that temperature swing. There's a block warmer for the Volvo in the garage but it's cold in there in the winter. So we played and I had a hit that you might have heard of. "Hur ?r l?get, lilla gumman?" which means, "How's It Hanging, Grandma?" and it was big on the Swedish charts.
Alan Barrows: I always thought it was "hey nonny no, nanny ninny no" and I'm getting kind of confused with all the nannies and the ninnies.
Jerry Palter: There's no nanny, just take that out of the equation. It's "hey nonny no, nonny ninny o".
Mark Shubb: Iron clad rule, Alan. Nonny before ninny.
Alan Barrows: Well, I don't sing this one anyway.
Jerry Palter: No, so it's kind of academic.
Jerry Palter: There's no nanny, just take that out of the equation. It's "hey nonny no, nonny ninny o".
Mark Shubb: Iron clad rule, Alan. Nonny before ninny.
Alan Barrows: Well, I don't sing this one anyway.
Jerry Palter: No, so it's kind of academic.
